Grandma has lots of lines and wrinkles. She is 79
and in pain most of the time. Yesterday she asked
me for her face cream, the thick white goopy stuff
only old ladies use. I rubbed some on for her because
her hands were trembling violently from medication,
lines and soft
ridges and flabby skin moving under
my
ragged fingertips.
I am lax with my skin care and when I take my face out
of the pillow in the morning, it is stiff and
creased where my brow has been furrowed with the
effort of deep dreaming. On a good day when I come home
and wash grime off my face there are thin traceable
lines around my mouth, finer than the ones on my
forehead and these are the creases I like.
Floppy saggy skin runs in the family, or comes with
age. My mother's face is lined and furrowed and I
remember when she used to have the happy lines etched
around her mouth and a firmer tilt. This is a lie but
there are photographs and I am a paramnesiac. I would
like to remember the smiling lines and I would like
to wake up with traceable patterns around my mouth,
happy marks.
This is what I would like you to do for me, if my skin forgets do it on its own. I would like you to ignore the furrows and remember my smile.