Trumpianity is the new American religion, having surpassed the modern form of Christianity from which it hypervigilantly evolved, maintaining most of the tenets of Christianity in the USA--that Jesus is Savior and hates gays and welfare recipients and dividend taxes—-but installing Donald Trump as infallible Head of Church. No less than their Saint, Ann Coulter, declares him so, placing him quite on par with God and Jesus amongst their persons of worship. All the churches have installed a big “t” outside for “tRump.”

Now, you might object, some Christians, some churches, are *opposed* to Trump. And indeed, if you listen very very carefully, perhaps through a stethoscope pressed to the wall, you can hear such a murmur under the din. But it is more generally crowded out, overcome by the excitement of the Dominionists excitedly seeing all of the signs of their treasured “reckoning” coming —- that day when they can take in hand their armaments, and, led by Savior Trump on his White House White Horse, save their White Church and White Nation from its own recessive genes, at last forcing at gunpoint and knifepoint the conversion of those pesky Jews and Mormons, those Catholics (with their Pandeist Pope), and those few Muslims who are White enough to bother with. The rest, Black, Asian, Latin, Native American, and others of less than alabaster pedigree, well they’ll all be killed (in self defense, naturally) or relegated to a new dusky slave class. For the good of the Churchnation, just as their blond, blue-eyed TrumpJesus wills it.

Welcome to the new Christianity. But don’t worry too much, it is a fever which will cause much gnashing and thrashing, but only in its passing. It will immolate itself, and on the other side, the Age of Pandeism will be waiting.