WARNING! THEY SAY SPOILERS ARE ALL GLORY, BUT BOYS, THEY ARE ALL HELL!
Title: A Date Which Will Live in Infamy
Release Date: September 2001
Writer: Jeph LoebPenciller: Ron GarneyInker: Mark MoralesJLA Members: Superman,
Wonder Woman,
Batman,
Aquaman,
Green Lantern,
the Flash,
the Martian Manhunter, and
Plastic Man.
Guest Stars: Lois Lane,
Hippolyta,
Starfire,
Maxima,
Lex Luthor,
Blue Beetle,
Booster Gold,
Guy Gardner, and
Mera.
Bad Guys: Imperiex.
Cameos: Oracle,
Sgt.--uh, General Rock,
Doc Magnus,
Rocket Red,
General Zod,
Ignition,
Troia,
Jessie Quick,
Arsenal,
Geo-Force, and
Tempest.
Special Features: Death of Guy Gardner; Death of Aquaman.
So what happens?Well, they claimed that all these "
Our Worlds at War"
crossover issues could stand on their own, but they lied, baby, so here's some
backstory: There's this guy called Imperiex, and he's sorta like a short version of
Marvel Comics'
Galactus -- he reduced the last universe to a single
atom, then triggered the
Big Bang, creating our
universe, and now he and his thousands of uber-powerful
drones roam the universe destroying
planets so they can
jump-start yet another universe. Now a bunch of
aliens whose planets have been ravaged by Imperiex have assembled a ragtag
armada to help Earth's superheroes and supervillains shut Imperiex down. Okay, on with the story...
The JLA are taking on one of the Imperiex drones attacking Earth, and they're getting their asses handed to 'em. (But I wish someone had explained how Flash, Plastic Man, Aquaman, and everyone else were able to survive in
space without spacesuits) After Martian Manhunter, Green Lantern, Flash, and Plastic Man get clobbered by Imperiex, Wonder Woman and Aquaman jump into the fray. But where are Batman and Superman?
Well, Bats is, as usual, babysitting
Gotham City, 'cause, ya know, Batman's
obsessed and all. Whatever. Superman is in
Smallville. His
parents are missing. Hell,
Topeka, Kansas has been completely destroyed. Any of y'all from
Topeka? You're all dead. Sorry. Supes is, obviously, pissed, and he charges into space to help out with the attack. He rescues Aquaman, who was getting crushed, but Wonder Woman cracks the drone's armor open with a
shield -- unfortunately, she didn't know that when you breach their armor, the drones
explode. The drone is destroyed, but Wonder Woman appears to be dead (Oh, she comes back. DC ain't gonna kill off
the only prominent female superhero in comics, a'ight?) Then someone mentions that one of the Imperiex drones is attacking
Atlantis, and Aquaman heads off to help defend his
kingdom.
Elsewhere on Earth,
President Lex Luthor (
Damn those Florida voters!) mobilizes all of Earth's superheroes for the war. In
Russia, one of the drones apparently kills Guy Gardner (Great work, DC -- keep treating former Green Lanterns like shit). In
Frankfurt, the normally evil General Zod and Ignition are trying to beat a drone. In
Zaire, the
Titans are trying to beat a drone. In
Antarctica, the
Outsiders are trying to beat a drone. Aboard the aliens'
medical ship, most of the JLA are hospitalized. Things look
grim.
And under the
sea, Aquaman suits up in some moderately badass armor, arms himself with the god
Neptune's
trident, and goes to stop the Imperiex drone. After a fairly short battle, Aquaman is able to stab the trident into the drone -- which, again, causes the drone to
explode. When Superman arrives seconds later, the drone has been destroyed, the armor's okay, the trident is okay, and Aquaman is a red
stain in the water. And so -- Wait just a goddamn minute. They killed Aquaman? Just like
that? WHERE'S MY
WHACKIN' STICK, DAMMIT! (Aquaman was cool, yo?)
Oh, other than that? Superman's mad, the oceans are red like
blood, and Supes hollers so loud it actually parts the sea. Not bad, but I wish they'd quit killing
Silver Age characters.
Cool Moments!Almost all of
Franklin D. Roosevelt's
Pearl Harbor speech is quoted throughout this issue; the first image of Martian Manhunter, his face literally bent out of shape and one
eye hanging from its socket, pretty effectively communicates how tough Imperiex is; Wonder Woman wears the
armor she had in
Mark Waid and
Alex Ross' stunning "
Kingdom Come" series; even though I'm assuming that Aquaman and Guy Gardner will be back sooner rather than later, when they get killed, it's quite a
surprise.
Cool Quotes!President Roosevelt's speech contributes the coolest quotes, I think.
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