Woke up early and fiddled around, it was nice to be able to take a more leisurely shower and to avoid the typical morning rush. Yesterday I ate half a container of sardines for lunch with a pear and a nut butter packet. I threw those things together as I raced out the door. I forgot how good sardines make me feel. Going to make a point to eat more of them more often. I didn't drink enough water yesterday, as a consequence I woke up at two in the morning with a parched and aching throat. I read an article on the proper use of melatonin. I'm relying on it more than I should be, another thing I need to address when I go in for my consult this Friday.
I found the receipts from my Vegas trip. I've been procrastinating less and that's worked wonders for me although I still have a ways to go. Knitting club is tonight. Game night is Thursday. There's an inflammation class at work that I could go to next Tuesday. Getting out into the community and conquering some of my social anxiety will make me a stronger person. I'm still trying to get to the root of it. I'm very outgoing, I meet new people daily and converse easily with them at work, but for some reason I have a near dread of other social situations. My family is going to go to a resort after Christmas. I keep remembering the other times I've traveled with them and how I vowed not to do it again, but a part of me is thinking about Vegas and how I made that trip a positive situation.
When my family didn't hear back from me, they went to my daughters. I don't like that they do that, but I understand why. What really frustrates me is that it seems as if my next oldest sister and my mom insist on getting their way and can't seem to see that other people want experiences that are different from theirs. Food is always an issue when it comes to my family. I love going out to eat at really good restaurants. Invariably they suggest pizza or subs or want to go to the cheapest place they can find. They're setting up the when, the where, and I feel as if there is no compromise. They don't like eating at the places I like so the discussion is closed before I can say another word. I can bring my own food, I've done that before, but they don't make an effort to encourage my children to eat well, and that really bothers me.
Going into work early today so I can sit down with eggs, sausage, and tea. I could easily make these things at home and save myself quite a bit of money, but I've come to realize that it isn't so much the food as it is being able to sit down with absolutely nothing else to do other than eat breakfast at a slower pace than I would if I had the same meal here at home. I'm wracking my brain trying to come up with a solution, become less hurried at home is the obvious answer, I'm working on it, I read that the importance of almost every possession is overrated, I was mad at myself yesterday, today I'm thinking about my house and going through what I would tell a friend. Downsizing takes time. Small steps in the right direction are larger than they seem at the time. I'm doing okay, better than that. Put money in savings, that was a real victory today. Taking that attitude into work today.
Praying this finds you well,
J