Letter from a well-meaning Captain
Dear
Christine, I have devised a
strategy for you.
When
the South shouted "enough" and
tried to leave
the
union, we slaughtered them with rails and rifles.
So please drink more water and get some sleep.
Your
trains should run on time and your
snipers
must shoot sharp. Your doctor says
secession
is best for all concerned this time around.
So give up
the hill, but sell it dearly; fight
like
cornered Texans. When your daughter asks,
tell her: now I have
more room to hold you.