A man escapes from a mysterious facility. Delerious, he claims that there's a plot to "kill us all." He's a friend of a famous record producer, so the producer and his girlfriend come to see him in the hospital. The villains kill him, and then kidnap the producer's girlfriend (Sheila Frazier).
Bad move. For this isn't any ordinary record producer. This is Jimmy Lait (Jim Brown), who also happens to be a world-class kickass fighter, a crack shot, and the best-fucking-dressed dude in town. It's 1974, Blaxploitation films are peaking, and shit's about to get real.
The folks behind the evil plot? A bargain-basement Bond villain, a mad scientist, and Neo-Nazis. The plot? They plan to dump a toxin that only affects Black people into the reservoirs of three major American cities, as the start of a genocide.
Their opponents: Jim and his two buddies, hard-hitting Black entrepreneur Jagger Daniels (Fred Williamson) and super-martial artist Mr. Keyes (Jim Kelly).
The Nazis don't stand a chance.
Absurdities fill the screen. Neither the premise nor the physics stand up to scrutiny. The heroes never have to reload their guns. The villains have the shooting skills of Imperial Stormtroopers and, when one of the heroes starts a martial arts fight, the bad guys forget that they have guns and decide to duke it out. Even the villain's plot doesn't hold up. A toxin that only affects Black people? Our mad scientist explains that it works like "Sickle Cell Anemia." Uh, yeah, but that inherited predisposition exists in fewer than 10% of the African-American population and has been found occasionally in other groups. Their toxin would kill a lot of innocent people, but it would not be the purge they seek.
This film is ridiculous.
And it's great.
The story moves along with the speed of a car chase. The car chases move with the speed of the story. Our three heroes do the heavy lifting, but they do not act entirely alone. Mr. Keyes enlists his Asian-American buddy who, of course, is a martial arts master. Daniels supplies them with weapons. And Jim Lait milks his unusual personal connections and brings in three two-fisted, motorcycle-riding dominatrixes, the Countess (Pamela Serpe), the Empress (Irene Tsu), and the Princess (Marie O'Henry) to assist. Naturally, they prefer to work topless, because what they do builds up a sweat.
No, I didn't make that up and you didn't misread it.
Don't worry too much about the logic of this film, nor why our heroes don't even attempt to enlist official help despite having evidence and a connection to at least one police officer. Then again (questions of possible cop allegiance aside), the police in the film's world aren't too reliable, because people can engage in pitched battles in public with little or no official response or consequences.
I remember the movie being heavily advertised in '74, when I was too young to be admitted. It made significant box office. I finally saw it on TV, a screening followed by a panel discussion. The panelists noted that the success of Blaxploitation films (which cover a wide range of films and levels of realism) within the African-American community stemmed in part from the lack of African-American heroes in the media. "They were our Black Panther," someone said, shrugging off and laughing at the film's absurdities and excesses.
Others embraced them. Three the Hard Way was never going to win Best Picture, but, regardless of your background, viewed in the proper spirit, it's a fun and wild ride.
Directed by Gordon Parks, Jr.
Written by Eric Bercovici and Jerrold L. Ludwig
Cast:
Jim Brown as Jimmy Lait
Fred Williamson as Jagger Daniels
Jim Kelly as Mr. Keyes
Sheila Frazier as Wendy Kane
Jay Robinson as Monroe Feather
Charles McGregor as Charley
Howard Platt as "Keep"
David Chow as "Link"
Richard Angarola as Dr. Fortero
Marian Collier as Eva
Jean Bell as Polly
Junero Jennings as "House"
Alex Rocco as Lieutenant Di Nisco
Janice Carroll as Nurse
Pamela Serpe as "The Countess"
Irene Tsu as "The Empress"
Marie O'Henry as "The Princess"
The Impressions as themselves
Bonus Seventies Movie Check-list (Blaxploitation Edition): Three the Hard Way