Further Adventures In New Parenthood
Yesterday I learned a few things about vomiting.
- Babies vomit a lot. It doesn't mean they're about to die.
- Really. He's not about to die. Calm down.
- This white milky vomit can literally GUSH out of their nose and mouth at a moment's notice. Very scary, when you first see it. Probably very scary for them, too.
- Some puking is normal, but if they're puking a LOT, it probably means something's wrong.
- Things that can be wrong can be as simple as: The milk is too hot. The milk is too cold. You aren't burping the baby enough. He's gulping too much air.
- They can be as bad as: he has colic. He has gastroenteritis. He is possessed by Satan.
- The baby may throw up when you're holding him. He may throw up in your face and all over your clothes, the floor, and everything else in the vicinity.
- If this happens, try not to jump and shout in fright. This will scare the baby even more and you may also put yourself in danger of dropping him.
- Don't drop the baby. Don't drop the baby. Don't drop the baby.
- It's OK. It's OK. You didn't drop him. Relax. It's OK.
- I'm sorry little J. I'm sorry I nearly dropped you. I'm sorry.
- Baby sick doesn't smell too bad and is easy enough to clean up. Thank God for small mercies.
I'm also learning about the after-effects of a difficult labour. Jo had one. She was 15 days overdue and was induced, and there were problems. Painful contractions for 10 hours before she was dilated enough to go to the delivery ward. Little Joshua didn't want to come out, and wasn't wriggling in the way he's supposed to wriggle, and after an hour and a half of turning purple and pushing, without an epidural, they had to use a venteuse. Local anaesthetic and an episiotomy. Then days of hardly any sleep in the hospital, and when Joshua was a day old they took him away to the intensive care unit to treat him for a Group B Strep infection. This can lead to meningitis, pneumonia, septicemia, and a host of other serious problems, and is the leading cause of fatal newborn infections.
Everything is fine now, and Joshua has been home for more than a week, and we're starting to relax, which means that Jo is starting to process what has happened to her in the last few weeks of her life. She's sore, she's on antibiotics for the strep (which she passed to Joshua in the birth canal), her stomach has stretch marks, it's hard for her to get a full night's sleep, and all her family and friends are in a different country. Yesterday I nearly didn't go to work because when I woke up she was sitting up with the baby and crying. I came home for a long, early lunch that day and she was a bit better. She went to bed early and I made sure she wasn't disturbed by the baby until nearly 6am, and this morning she felt a lot better. It's good, but things change every day.
They change every day. In the last week Joshua has been learning how to use his arms. At first he used to just wave them around by reflex; now you can see him starting to use them intentionally to try to grab things. When I lean him forward to burp him, he holds his head up for as long as he's able, which is surprisingly long. His head is changing shape and his cheeks are getting fatter. I take pictures of him every day and I don't know what I'll do with them. I can't bear the idea of missing any part of his development.
Jo tells me she will be OK. It's not post-natal depression, she says, but the "Baby Blues", something less serious that almost everyone feels. She's been reading up on it. There's so much to find out. We never heard of Group B Strep before, and the public health services in Ireland and the UK don't test for it, you have to ask your GP to test you privately in advance of the birth, but no one told us. How could we have known? The leading cause of newborn infections, and no one told us that Jo should get tested. 1 in 3 women carry it. Isn't that mad?
It's the weekend. My focus this weekend is allowing Jo to get as much sleep as possible and to be as happy and relaxed as possible. Oh - and to learn how not to jump 3 feet in the air when a sleeping baby pukes in my face while I'm watching the Olympics.