Senior Slave Day

Senior Slave Day (or Senior Appreciation Day, as the administration prefers it be called) is a bizarre, and fun ritual that takes place every year during Homecoming week at Bethel Park High School.

It works like this: Each senior can have up to two underclass slaves. The senior must pay $2.50 for each one. On the designated day, these "appreciators" are subject whatever torment the senior can come up with (provided it is allowed by the school code).

What I saw this year:
• a really large guy dressed up as Sailor Moon
• people with 2x4's duct taped across their shoulders and along the back of their legs
• lots of cross dressing (though the rules specifically prohibited it)
• people dressed as smurfs
• people dressed only in duct tape
• people dressed only in saran wrap
• girls walking around with "ghetto booty" written across their ass
• someone with a pumpkin duct taped to his hand, and jello, eggs, and maple syrup down his pants

So now, I hear you asking yourself, "What did Dyslexic do for Senior Slave Day?" Well, I was dressed up in fishnets, board shorts short enough to be hot pants, a mesh shirt that bared all, and eyeliner. My dreadlocks were also clipped up to create a dread-hawk hairstyle. Now, being that it was Senior Slave Day, I didn't mind the getup, apart from the fact that my boxers kept showing and the fishnets kept falling down.

Man oh man, do I have quite the treat for my slaves next year....

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Well well well, a year has passed, and there were some interesting spectacles this year. (oh, by the way, I was too lazy to go find underclassmen to purchase, so I didn't get to have any "appriciators")

Wonderful sights this year:
• The Hygene Twins. These two dressed up in shower caps and bath paraphernalia. Every time class would change, they would wash each others hair (yes, with shampoo & water), then they would brush each others teeth.
• The Human Birdfeeder. Man this kid was pissed. His senior slathered him with honey & peanut butter, then dumped a bag of birdseed on top of him. They forced him to wear a had with a birdhouse duct taped to it, and they taped wind chimes on his ass.
• Satan's Cheerleaders. These two were dressed up in cheerleader outfits but they also sported some intense goth makeup. Between periods, they would do a dance routine to the campus passers by.
• Ride 'er Cowgirl. A poor freshman was dressed up like a cowgirl, and she carried an entire saddle (full size) around with her. Between periods, she would get saddled up, and seniors could ride her around until class started.

There were some other good ones, who much to my Peckerish chagrin, posed for my camera. I shot a whole roll of film in only an hour and a half. My photographic contributions were donated to the yearbook staff.

We have this at my school, but it works a bit differently. Any seniors who participate (have to be in pretty good standing) are sold auction-style to anyone who wants them. The proceeds go to the senior class (who at this point has more money than it knows what to do with.) This affords many opportunities to embarrass friends, or take revenge on enemies..

A few of the highlights of this day:

1. 4 girls (bought for something like $40 each, a tidy sum) hopping behind their owner, singing "Little Bunny Foo-Foo".
2. A girl who had spread some pretty nasty rumors about a girl and her friend (something about being lesbians) was bought by the very same girls. She ended up in some pretty thick black makeup, with a 'Gay Pride' t-shirt and a pacifier. The general agreement was that she deserved every bit of it..
3. My slave and her cross-dressed boyfriend standing on a table at lunch, singing 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star'
4. A few schoolgirl outfits somewhere..
5. From a previous year, a friend of mine had his slave in a french maid outfit for the day..

As an interesting side note, the staff, in an effort to at least nod to political-corectness, referred to it as 'Senior service day', using 'servant' instead of 'slave'. Not that any of the students took up the new terms..