Welcome. Feel free to order using your
combination cell phone and catalogue and the convenient id numbers.
- Model Locator - This HandyDandy gadget locates models. With three convenient settings (plastic, metal, and flesh), and a toupee grinder attachment, no self-respecting human should be without one! (models sold seperately.)
- VTOL - This HandyDandy classic is the favoured means of transportation among HandyDandy Preferred customers. It is a milspec Vertical Take Off or Landing aircraft. With completely airtight seals, and the addition of the scuba kit, it's perfect for taking your date to the Challenger Deep, or for extra fun, just buy the Warfare Pak and conquer a small nation!
- Crowbar - The XJ-47 crowbar was designed by Gordon Freeman, famed survivor of the Black Mesa Incident. You know that with HandyDandy's technical excellence, and Freeman's valuable input, this baby will have you killing alien nasties and opening crates in no time!
- Helper Monkey - Ever wanted your very own helper monkey? Well, now that childhood dream can come true, with the HandyDandy Helper Monkey! Choose from three sizes, and hundreds of colors. (Helper Monkeys not available in all states.)
- Ferret Weaponry - HandyDandy is now offering a full range of Ferret-based weaponry. From our hold-out ferret gun, which fits in a back pocket, to our anti-tank ferret launcher, which is fully automatic and laser guided, we have the answer to your ferret warfare problems.
- Cuban Exploding Cigars - Loaded with Cuban High Explosives, these exploding cigars are guaranteed to blow the entire torso of a full grown human into a fine mist. Unlike the inferior ACME products, these cigars come with a builtin, proximity safety device. They won't explode if they are within 5 feet of you. This has obvious benefits.