Findings:

• I might have expected that the mushrooms would worship you
• Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel a strong compulsion to get up from the table
• Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel no compulsion to get up from the table
• Would I have hid myself away if I had known I'd never be found?
• I have freed myself from corporate advertising
• Nodes your Grandma would have liked
• Bernie would have won
• A thousand years from now, we should have coffee and tell stories while the world disintegrates
• Expect nothing and you shall have everything
• It is never too late to be what you would have been
• People just expect things from me
• What can we expect from the aliens?
• Do unto others as you would have others do unto you
• You have been paroled from participation in the Capitalist Project
• One should expect as much from a machine
• What if I had never met you? How much the poorer would my life have been.
• We told you when you were hired that you would have to work on Saturday
• If it were a snake, it would have bit me
• how many bird nests would be made from her lovely hair
• Stoned music memories
• You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
• To a Poet, who would have me Praise certain Bad Poets, Imitators of His and Mine
• Now that I have nothing resembling a desk, I am allowing myself a node to fantasize about one
• Weak and desperate from decades of commuting the djinn would barter all for coffee and a friendly ear
• Yesterday, I believe I would never have done what I did today.
• Would ye have a young Virgin of fifteen Years
• it wouldn't be so bad if people like you would have become ghosts too
• Would you rather have a matrimony profile?
• Why the ancient Babylonians would have loved high definition television
• How the inside of the mind would look from a purely abstract point of view
• What have you learned from your patients today?
• Have you tried to keep the river from the sea?
• we have learned all that we can from anal probing
• A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take from you everything you have
• I would have cooled this if you had written it
• Having an S on a transcript rather than a B
• The navigational computer confirms that we have emerged from hyperspace... on the other side of the planet.
• It would have been an excellent story but I had to get off the train
• Hello, my name is... Would you like to have sex?
• What pornos would have us believe
• Why would he want a writer when he could have a dancer?
• A thought that may have passed in the mind of the busboy at the cafe where I often find myself
• Where the water for the flood could have come from
• If it had been able to, the light would have smiled
• If Gore Had Won (A cautionary tale)
• he would have cried
• I would have attempted to draw her if she had stayed that way.
• I have thrown myself free of the yoke of arrogance.
• Things I Thought I Would Never Hear Myself Say
• Bernie would have won "ANY BREAKFAST BAGEL SANDWICH" at McDonald's
• I would a thousand times rather have had a simple cheap sandwich with a friend
• Slipping away from myself
• The hot girls from cold countries have scars you're not supposed to see
• from where I stand I can see they have already won
• Balloons whose strings have slipped from unclutched hands
• I tiptoe back into myself so I can run from what I was
• the slightest movements which I make have begun to squeeze pure blood from my kidneys again
• What I have learned from being fired
• It would be a less interesting world if we all walked and skipped alike, and never fell from bicycles.
• Listen to me, because I am in the soapbox. This is the voice of the soapbox. I am calling to you. Do you hear the sounds of my soaply siren song? My syntactically sweet strumming along to sequential sequestrations of symmetrically snakey st
• heart medications which all have names like alien military from other planets
• Weak and desperate from decades of commuting the djinn would barter all for coffee and a friendly ear (fiction) mp3 (recording)
• Your radical ideas about taking candy from thefez have already occurred to others
• If this were in person, I would have kissed her now
• And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for you meddling kids!
• If you didn't have free will, would you know it?
• For future reference, when in eternity or insanity; dreams I would like to have
• if music was a woman you would have a mistress
• The smell of kittens that have been careless; the flowers and the beer cans emerging from the snow.
• I always knew I would have a 21st birthday but I never thought I'd be 21
• you would have been
• All the terrible disadvantages an invisible man would have in the world
• You stole what they would have given you
• I would have tried, but Charlotte kept Charlotte in the world of Charlotte and she barely heard me
• I would like to have emotions
• If we catapulted outlaws, only pawn shops would have guns
• Advantages an invisible man would have in the world
• Draw myself into the shell, waiting on a sign from god...or a nod from hell
• When people ask "Where are you from?" I have to think for a minute
• Terminating a pregnancy due to Down Syndrome
• The mighty have fallen, and I don't feel too good myself
• I have a sick mind. I like to hump myself against shelled clams and sing Oasis songs.
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• I would have leapt at the innuendo you had strewn at my feet.
• Things that would have seemed unbelievable about 11 years ago
• I would've taken an axe to it, but I'm pretty sure the dryad would have pulverized me
• I'll pretend I just cursed myself by saying this, so when it doesn't happen I have something to fall back on other than you
• I would have killed for a sexual thought
• Friend, you have a lot to learn if you think loving me would be a bad idea.
• he would have laughed
• I am letting myself down so you don't have to
• I have a sick mind. I like to pleasure myself with a hockey stick while gargling with pureed baby.
• I would have liked thunder when she left
• I have to catch myself around you
• If I had the money I would get lost. God knows I have the time.
• If I were Twenty-One I would adjust myself
• He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
• if I was doing it for compliments I would have stopped a lot sooner
• I have no proof that he would ever want to kiss or destroy me.
• I don't even have the energy to kill myself
• A list of things kids should and should not have from a woman who has no kids
• Just don't expect me to understand
• Maybe grief expects poor nutrition.
• My Heart is lost, What Can I Now Expect
• I expect to be Mr. Toast and Soup tomorrow.
• A tentative laugh, she expected to be interrupted
• expected family contribution
• The animals behind the glass are thrilling, as we expected
• The Last Thing He Expected to Happen to Him in Hollywood
• God was creepier than I expected so I took it out on the little people
• What to expect during a professional massage therapy session
• I could not expect a single surprise
• what I want and what is expected of me
• Not What You Expected
• I expected to die by fire. It didn't occur to me that I might drown instead.
• Bastard Operator from Hell
• You're not from around here, are you?
• From Dusk Till Dawn
• You can't get there from here
• from
• The Cat from Outer Space
• Theme from Shaft
• Redo from start
• Argument from Evil
• Notes from the Underground
• from scratch
• Argument from Non-Belief
• Polaroids from the Dead
• Having run away from a wedding reception
• Home away from home
• Withdraw yourself from the situation
• God won't take the time to sort your ashes from mine
• Playing hooky from the family
• Happy Labor Day from Insomnia Boy
• Small gifts from the universe
• Awful Green Things from Outer Space
• Muppets From Space
• Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis
• letter from a Boeing 717
• Dav from Jordan (user)
• Tales from the Crypt
• Things we learn from movies
• And then I crawled out from under the table
• How Candide Escaped from the Bulgarians and What Befell Him Afterward
• Jose Chung's From Outer Space
• Brewing ale and porter from sugar and malt
• The view from my room
• Ads from the back page of the Village Voice
• away from me
• Emergency evacuation of soul and bicycle from suburbia
• The lost scene from Austin Powers 2
• Sonnet #43, from the Portuguese
• Water Balloon Olympics from the Tenth Floor
• The Secession of Canada from the Republic of Quebec
• return from the dead
• You are a bisexual gerbil from Romania
• Highlights from Star Trek's "Starfleet Ship Design Manual" (chapter 7, "Designing the bridge")
• Making an F-16 from a cereal box, some Scotch tape, and a penny
• You mean the me that you would be
• How many ways can you say "It's stuff made from soy"?
• Ramblin' Wreck from Georgia Tech
• taking down the advertising industry from the inside
• Where Does Everything Come From?
• Shows from which I save the stubs
• Removing wax from clothing
• Magma is the blood that spews from the earth
• Scene from the movie I'll never write
• Are guys who get blowjobs from guys straight?

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