Today is Father's Day, and I am thinking a bunch of random thoughts about what it means to be a parent, and what my father, and other father figures in my life meant to me. I have off today, and so far I've spent most of it sleeping. I laid down after doing some housework and tidying up, and I have no idea how long I slept, but it still wasn't enough. I woke up feeling as if I could lay back down for another however many hours, but I decided to do some writing and eat something instead. At home we had to tiptoe around my dad, my mom would urge us to consider him (when he largely failed to consider us), and I suppose that set me up for the way that I am today.
My boss asked me to go to an event this past weekend so I said that I would. I didn't get a whole lot of details, but I'm not a big details person so this was somewhat upsetting, but not to the point where I said or did anything about it. I figured eventually someone would tell me something and I tried to get information from others so as not to bother him. He didn't tell me that there is a mandatory sales meeting Saturday morning so I ended up being half an hour late for that, he also didn't tell me I'm supposed to come in an hour earlier on Thursdays to help the service people so I didn't do that either.
I don't totally understand him other than I have already learned that he is very busy and doesn't have time for me. The less we interact the better so I stay out of his way. There are times when he tries to reach out or be nice, and they haven't gone especially well, but I know that this is just a matter of us getting to know each other. I think I wrote about the time another sales person snapped at me, my boss made sure that I received an apology for that, he's paying me well, and I also really appreciate the fact that he does work so hard, and recognizes the fact that I work hard and am smart.
He's not one to nitpick if people are late, that's not typically a problem I have, I don't need a lot from him, he could be doing more, and I feel like he should, on the other hand, he leaves me alone and lets me do my thing. After my last job where I was constantly being observed and told what to do, this is a welcome change. I have a really nice corner office, it's considered one of the lesser work spaces since it's more removed from the sales floor action, but it is perfect for someone like me. I can come in, sit down, get comfortable, do what I am supposed to do, a lot of this I've had to figure out on my own, fortunately I'm someone who is resourceful and determined.
It's really like owning your own business. Everything is kind of up to you outside of the hours you are required to be there. I wonder if there is a distinction between people who work a lot of hours and those who are actually workaholics. Anyways, I am doing my best to try to take care of myself while working like this, I'm proud of myself for keeping a low profile, I'm better learning the culture there because I want to be able to keep this position for a very long time. I really enjoy the sales process, so far the training has been relevant, interesting, and realistic. I feel as if that last point is one that many trainers miss so I appreciate the company for that.
There have been some fun moments. I don't really know what people think of me, but it seems as if keeping more to myself has helped. I still want an iPad and can more and more see how this could be a helpful tool at work as well as a treat for myself. I reached out to a yoga studio and want to try to take at least one class a week there. Just down from work is a hot yoga place and I'm interested in seeing what that is like as well. I need more sleep than I've been getting and I'm praying that as the job goes along, I will be able to get into a better routine. I was out of my Pilates gig for a bit, I skipped it today, but have noticed a real difference when I am more consistent so that's another goal.
I feel as if this could be a job I have for a very long time as long as I am smart about it and I don't necessarily mean this in an intellectual capacity either. Time will tell I suppose.
All my best,
Jess
P.S. I'm so glad I bought my car when I did. It's still fun to drive and I've really been enjoying the ride to and from work most days.
j