April 24, 2007

Play rehearsal before the start of term two: My timetable says that we start at one o'clock, right? Well, apparently the others in my group decided to start at 11:00. WITHOUT telling me. So I turned up half an hour late with NO costume because I didn't have time to get ready.

Now, I've been told that we have three performances. I'm okay with that. Then, I'm told that we've been booked for a fourth performance. We're helping transport the troupe, for chrissakes! It's mental.

It's almost like people have decided that I'm... unimportant. Nobody even thinks to ask me, but when I get told something I run around everywhere trying to tell people what's going on.

It's not enough that I feel like an outside in my 'clique'. My friends barely talk to me, but they talk about parties that nobody even THOUGHT about inviting me to, or the Melbourne Show which they convieniently forgot to ask me about.

Maybe I need new friends.

Eleven months, it seems. Since I last logged into E2.

I was diagnosed last year with Chronic PTSD. Among my symptoms over the last few years has been an inability to produce things in writing... a fairly serious problem for a University student and a consultant. I have trouble these days doing things imperfectly. And, as I'm sure most of us here understand, that which one writes is never perfect.

So, I'm planning on using E2 as part of my therapy. Get used to the idea of writing things that are good; quite good; very good; wonderful; but not necessarily perfect. I actually think that the harshness and brutal honesty that noding on E2 exposes you to will be a good thing. Not every node will be cooled. Hell, some of them might not even get any upvotes at all. And I'm okay with that.