Ever wonder what you could have put on those end of course evaluations? Below is a list of possible humorous responses to many commonly asked questions on an evaluation.
1. "This class was a
religious experience for me... I had to take it all on
faith."
2. "Text makes a satisfying '
thud' when dropped on the floor."
3. "The class is worthwhile because I need it for the
degree."
4. "His
blackboard technique puts Rembrandt to shame."
5. "
Textbook is confusing... Someone with a knowledge of English should proofread it."
6. "Have you ever fallen asleep in
class and awoke in another? That's the way I felt all term."
7. "In class I learned that I could
fudge answers and get away with it."
8. "Keep
lecturer or tenure board will be shot."
9. "The
recitation instructor would make a good parking lot attendant. Tries to tell you where to go, but you can never understand him."
10. "
Text is useless. I use it to kill
roaches in my room."
11. "In class the
syllabus is more
important than you are."
12. "I am convinced that you can learn by
osmosis by just sitting in his class."
13. "Help! I've fallen asleep and I can't wake up!"
14. "Problem sets are a
decoy to
lure you away from potential exam material."
15. "
Recitation was great. It was so confusing that I forgot who I was, where I was, and what I was doing - It's a great
stress reliever."
16. "He is one of the best teachers I have had... He is well-organized, presents good lectures, and creates interest in the subject. I hope my comments don't hurt his chances of getting
tenure."
17. "I would sit in class and stare out the window at the
squirrels. They've got a
cool nest in the tree."
18. "He teaches like
Speedy Gonzalez on a
caffeine high."
19. "This course kept me out of trouble from 2-4:30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays."
20. "Most of us spent the 1st 3 weeks terrified of the class. Then
solidarity kicked in."
21. "Bogus number crunching. My
HP is exhausted."
22. "The absolute value of the TA was less than epsilon."
23. "TA steadily improved throughout the course... I think he started
drinking and it really loosened him up."
24. "Information was presented like a
ruptured fire hose-- spraying in all
directions-- no way to stop it."
25. "I never bought the text. My $60 was better spent on the
Ozzy Osbourne cds that I used more while doing the problem sets than I would have used the text."
26. "What's the quality of the text? 'Text is printed on
high quality paper.'"