user since
Sat Oct 23 2004 at 08:05:36 (10.4 years ago )
last seen
Thu Mar 26 2015 at 20:25:11 (10.5 hours ago )
number of write-ups
190 - View BookReader's writeups (feed)
number of write-ups within last year
level / experience
15 (Keeper of the Seal) / 12369
C!s spent
mission drive within everything
Find and ask the mystic E2 Dragon a question
Giddiness and Excitement!
The Drunk Monks
If you wait long enough some problems solve themselves.
categories maintained
BookReader_root, chanops tools, Above Earth, The Song of Ceber
most recent writeup
April 14, 2014
Send private message to BookReader


Claim prize at bottom.

Howdy, howdy. I'm doing a survey for an up coming node. If you manage to stop here on your journey through E2 please take the time to message me.


What is the first thing you remember being able to read?

Chicken Quest: Chickens found: 4/12.

BookReader at a glance:

Age: 29
Sex: Male
Weight: 180
Height: 6'1
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Green to blue
!: defcon5
AIM: chaindrain

The Riddle

Awards! 25 votes and a C! to spend.

Level: 11 Difficulty: easy

New riddle coming soon.

Level two: kthejoker says "The answer to your riddle is elements, but there's 118 now." Damn science always moving on.

Level three: rootbeer277 says "The answer is a C!" Yes indeed it is.

Level Four: maxClimb says "RE: Riddle 4 - a skull?" You might have gotten it as soon as it was posted, buddy, but the next one will have you scratching you head for ages!

Level Five: TenMinJoe says "War?" You sure did hit the target, TenMin.

Level Six: DTal says "Crabs!" Yep, but not those nice beach crabs.

Level Seven: TenMinJoe says "electricity?" Yeppers.

Level Eight: Noung says "Is the answer user Ancientsnow?" Yes indeed.

Level Nine: The Custodian says "I want to say the riddle answer is 'Silver' - when quicksilver it's something else (mercury), when slow it's a transition metal, can wear it on you...although it you put it around you it will act as an antimicrobial - fighting small wars. DAMN IT.:-)" Yeppers. Looks like I made a mistake...

Level Ten: Rapscallion says "CHEESE" Tasty!

Level Eleven: Zephronias says "DUDE IT'S ME. I AM THE PUN."

      -----BEGIN NODE CODE BLOCK-----
NAT l+ xp n+ C- H c+++ e # d+ D++ p g N 
      ------END NODE CODE BLOCK------

And a supporter of Pushin' Niceness to boot.

Node Audits

Listen up! E2 needs more fiction. I mean, we have plenty of it but we need more, lots more. So, in order to encourage those who would post fiction, but are just a bit too nervous or scared, I am offering node audits focusing on fiction.


You must be level 5 or lower (if you are a higher level noder I will be happy to audit any one node you point out to me, providing of course that it is fictional). I will audit all of your fiction nodes giving:


To all those nodes that deserve them.


I don't downvote. Fear not. What I will do is give suggestions on how to earn an upvote from me.


I will give a C! to what I feel is your best writeup. I'm also willing to give C!s to spend to those I feel are particularly talented.


Writing is risk, I cannot emphasize this enough. If you want an audit, be warned, I'll not hold back. That said, I'm aware of the difference between criticism and creative criticism. You'll never hear, "You suck and your writing sucks more!" from me. Something so subjective as writing is never deserving of such a comment (except maybe in the case of V.C. Andrews, I hate those fucking books). Instead what I'll do is make suggestions on how to improve your writeup. Hopefully this will be helpful, if it isn't or you disagree you are always free to call me a pretentious blowhard and ignore whatever I say. That's your prerogative. But I'll do my best to help.

Drunk Monks and Drunk Monk associates on E2 (some o' these folks should get up off their lazy asses and write something):

sarabandegreen futilelord Imhran antimemory kelsorama aftereight beaver_fever_06 intravenousants Yakushin Aenivae

Node well, not nodeshell.

The Fiction Nodes (read them):


Trained Tiger

The Winter Story

Your grammar damages your credibility
After the War
Donginger, draped in the apocalypse
It's a transmitter. It's a radio for speaking to God.
The Death and Dying of the Light
Give me a little bit of Heaven in your Smile
Banana-Anna Boys and the Cult of Awesome
La Llorona
Using Sign Language for Evil
Fear the Cold
The Dragon Slayers
Why I am Against the Death Penalty
Sex Around the World
Killing Your Own Characters
The World (as it ought to be)
On Aphids on Chives
Australia: Deadliest Place on Earth
The Voyage of the Roofer Boonhurst
Incident at the Stop
Lake Uganda
Kira, Kira Nightingale
Russian Nuclear Deployment Unit
Pave America
Raid and the Roach

"We should abandon the notion of history as a court eternally in session." -Archbishop Gianfranco Ravasi



kelsorama says "shame, shame, dear. Don't confuse mere playful interest with love. I can see that this is where a lot of your problems arise."
As long as I don't confuse hate with love, I'll probably be all right.

"I hereby declare BookReader the (possibly) nicest and most polite person on E2." -Ancientsnow
Thanks, my dear. I don't believe I've had such a compliment before.

"Metal, BookReader!" -Clockmaker
I no longer remember what this was in reference too.

"BookReader taught me to light a candle rather than curse the darkness." Noung
This is completely out of context.

"dannye says Oh, well. If reincarnation is real we'll do it later." I suppose we will. RIP

؟Who are you?

"I used to be an Ice Golem. But I melted." - user water

Oh God, here's a good one: Also starring a telephone as "The Telephone"

Yous are all f***ing idiots: At least one man knows how to handle the press.

Yat'ah vokc tia vin'de'ee.

I wonder if people read this far down. Hmm. Well, here’s something to do:

Bathroom Push # 12

“The Nippon Push”: Sit on the throne with your back straight and your hands on your knees. You get triple points if you can keep your back straight while “pushing”.

Devine Trinity

/ \
Garlic Cumin

Fellatio will not save this Relationship.