welcome home darling. we're having
fondue for dinner tonight, again,
watching the sun set and listening to
the kid on the couch play guitar.
its
cold on the balcony so we'll go out there later, we can wrap in a blanket and sit in a chair
and share a smoke. it was
a year ago the last time, it was snowing and
it was further south, but the
same players playing the
same games while my car was getting snowed in, and i was
still drunk and
not looking forward to driving
home, but
i knew well enough to leave.
the drive was music and i was
pounding on the roof, and you know how middle of the
night snowstorms are like the best crisp daytimes, just more
deserted? it was that, but i can't remember if i was crazy that night with lust or livid with hate, and i can't remember if i hated
you or me. i just remember that bandana, and
a wobbly goodbye kiss, and i remember eating black and white fondue, and i remember
getting nutty about the
stickers on your car's back window whenever i pulled up to have dinner.
nothing ever has to do with what's happening now, but
you think it does. it's all just
partial recollections of nights we left behind, of nights that have no place being brought up, of
idle nights watching the snow. and in a life where there's
nothing to do but watch the snow, those nights linger and end up here. the cards told me last night that the
ships are coming in but the past is blocking their way,
the cards know their shit.
you women are all back and forth, but you're probably
better left in the back.
luckily for
me, and my love for drama, we'll board this ride again. it
ends where it starts, and
starts again where it ended.