Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "What, with the moving little things in his office when he wasn’t looking, letting him think his neighbors were out to get him, nightmares- that sort of thing."

• When he was five, his father made him murder his imaginary friend.
• When he was little, he laughed in his sleep.
• I knew enough about him to know his name and what kind of snowball he could make
• a constant, low wind trembles through him, catching his words and sending them out into the world
• his whole life, like a thundercloud, out in front of him
• I'm the only person who'd ever told him to his face he was beautiful.
• Is it fair for him to love me when she craves his touch?
• When I think of him now I can smell horses
• He was there, and then he wasn't, and with him went those memories
• Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him
• To Him the law is everything. Even today, lawyers are His favorites.
• His mother is slowly killing him.
• I should ask my barber where he gets his hair cut, then go there and slowly make my way up the chain
• Meanwhile, the PILOT, who has been laughing hysterically through the entire sequence, finally loses it. He falls out of his chair and bangs his head against the panel, causing the ship to lose control and crash into a nearby planet
• I don't know where he gets his words but I like them
• So he's dressed a little differently and he has a halo-like light above his head.
• You Should Never Have Asked Him About His Job!
• His mind went blank against the flesh next to him
• From the brightness before Him passed His thick clouds
• He was confirming to himself that they were laughing with him after all
• The day we were married the leftover doves from his days of being a magician hummed little love songs in the attic
• He had a prison of brass built in the hole, and then, when it was finished, he locked up his daughter
• The shit that gets carried out in His name
• If a frog had wings, he wouldn't kick his tail when he jumped
• I think he only loves the world for him.
• If my roommate doesn't keep his hands off my shit, I'm gonna fuck him up
• How Candide Found His Old Master Pangloss Again and What Happened to Him
• Then I poked him in his sunburn
• a bit of ash in his face keeps him warm
• Any man can handle adversity. If you want to test his character, give him power.
• All his front teeth knocked out, living a nightmare
• He stretched out his arms but she was not there
• Of King Sigmund's last battle, and of how he must yield up his sword again
• You'd think a cookie killed his dog
• I kicked the Martian in his otherworldly balls, and he screamed like the solar wind howling through a planetary magnetosphere
• When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him
• He will have the taste of warm ripe fruit in his mouth
• If only Che Guevara were a revolutionary in his own country
• As the band laughed, her finger traced his spine, and he folded into her
• He Died with a Felafel in His Hand
• when i get out i'll come and find you cause you're my other half i never told you that
• Koji Gets His Wish
• The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
• He's a feminist. He tells that to all his mistresses.
• He began to learn that waste flows downstream. Imagine his surprise.
• If you were team captain in a pick-up game of baseball and had Jesus Christ on your team, what position would you play him?
• In Which Ethel Gao Gets Off His Butt and Accepts the Call
• She calls him Sugarcane. He calls her Hurricane.
• The Little Boy and his Dogs
• but you had his eyes and that was sort of almost enough
• To me he is a daisy and I keep trying to count his petals
• How many times has God twiddled his thumbs before he put vertebrates on the Earth?
• Call me back when hair starts growing on his palms
• judge a captain not by his shipwrecks, but by whether or not he blames the sea
• I saved his life. He does not know it.
• He called he his brother and spoke approvingly of my story
• The Man Felt an Iron Hand Grasp Him by the Hair, at the Nape. Not One Hand, a Hundred Hands Seized Him, Each by the Hair, and Tore Him Head to Foot, the Way You Tear Up a Sheet of Paper, Into Hundreds of Little Pieces
• Jesus said, "I love him, for he is my brother." He was talking about everyone.
• My next door neighbor has human heads in his freezer
• Is she really going out with him?
• why is the great man great? he keeps on running through a world of his own.
• And forty days were fulfilled for him; for so are fulfilled the days of those which are embalmed
• When we were little kids, running
• I think this boy's cheese has done slid off his cracker
• Michael Moved Out to Live with His Bitch & Her Dog
• the pull is so strong, we think we're moving forward
• if Gerry Stern were dead, he'd roll over in his grave
• Oedipus-Schmedipus, as long as he loves his mother
• Get the fuck out of my office
• And we killed him and he's dead.
• In the end, he could quiet his mind only by dying
• When You Were Little Did You Wonder
• He forgets I am my own fierceness; it's not for him
• It's not so much that I like him as a person God, but as a boy he's very handsome
• A boy and his shadow standing on a long shore trying to figure out the intentions of the sun
• All the while he was talking she was thinking what his whiskers would feel like on the back of her neck
• He throws his heart down like a gauntlet
• He said I'm better off without you, 'til I showed him my tattoo
• Strange man makes permanent visit
• Zip him back up, he sucks.
• He tells me that I could have his heart and I want to take it right then, slip it into my pocket and run
• It's easier to kick a praying man, because he's on his knees already
• You can't see a man die hundreds of times and not think him immortal
• He cries for me, all these years later. He'll never stop 'til I join him in the grave.
• They will love him long after he is gone.
• I met him two days ago and now he wants to fly me to Peru
• And while I stand by what I said, I honestly wasn't intending for him to light himself on fire.
• the stars were falling just for him
• sometimes when i think about how big space is i get scared
• I'm not HIS sister; he's MY brother
• Those are pearls that were his eyes. Look!
• Things you can tell just by looking at him
• He just left his body
• Dammit, can you see why his laugh is gonna get us subpoenaed
• before the internet when teen had REAL relationship the boy could look at the girl and judge the diameter of her thorax with his feelers and determine whether the mating ritual could commence but NO MORE. evil woman use her computer sorcery
• Dumbledore pointed his wand at the bottle and the cork flew out.
• His eyes look out at me from people that I meet
• Horace Walpole Loses His Little Dog
• He's dead, Jim. You grab his wallet, I'll grab his tricorder.
• How can a man stand when they cut off his feet?
• So while Faust is busy trying to wipe the blood off his face and Shorty's trying to claw his eyes out, I mosey away and try my hand at storming the castle
• How did you get everyone to think that you were depressed?
• StuartO))) has his head up his ass and could not write his way out of a wet paper sack
• It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead
• "I see," said the blind man to his deaf wife as he picked up his hammer and saw
• If he's late, you can always start without him
• The one he murdered once still loves him
• He flops over and bonks his head
• When the foeman bares his steel
• As I looked back, he was reveling in his own feces
• How the Old Woman Took Care Of Candide, and How He Found the Object of His Love
• Out of his fucking mind
• He lived in southern California with his tanned, powdered mother
• What's Hecuba to him, or he to Hecuba, that he should weep for her?
• Why women suddenly come out of the woodwork when a man gets married
• he gives rest unto him who comes at the eleventh hour
• The Last Thing He Expected to Happen to Him in Hollywood
• I killed him today, he who does not exist
• He is honest and forthright with strangers. He reserves his lies for his family
• He found a liquid cure for his landlocked blues
• He weaves his words
• I never met him. He broke my heart.
• He who has ears, let him hear
• He who does not forget his first love will not recognize his last
• He wakes up everyday, puts an empty gun in his mouth, and pulls the trigger.
• My friend is dating someone who likes him far more than he likes her
• His memory perishes from the earth, and he has no name in the street.
• This is what happens, son, when you let your wife's green lung get out of hand
• Amakuni once drew an old sword of his from a box, suddenly overjoyed by something he had cast aside.
• He Had Not Where To Lay His Head
• The class valedictorian was still tripping balls when he was bailed out in time to give the commencement speech at graduation
• I married him because he was not mean
• he is too shy to write his tale
• mr. T pities the fool regardless of whether he is wearing his seatbelt
• Little boy every man has hiding inside of him
• he can find a cure for us, if we help him
• He made a way to his anger
• When the suicide arrived at the sky, the people there asked him: "Why?"
• And that's when I shot him, Your Honor
• We're gonna find the bastard and "reward" him.
• When I look at him I could eat a thousand tomato sandwiches
• I mean these words come out of him like the right music
• The night I saw a man get his head blown off
• A poem for when I loved him
• The Mojave Desert spit him out, and the Pacific Ocean swallowed him, half-chewed
• When she is talking to him
• How Could You Want Him (When You Know You Could Have Me)?
• Let him hold out hope that someone or other might come. Then fuckin' kill him.
• i am looking for Morpheus. have you seen him?
• Little Jack Melody and His Young Turks
• sometimes, after an adventure, he likes to sit out there and think
• Today your little boy is sprouting ten fingers and shedding his tail
• him will I blot out of my book
• He Would Close His Eyes, and the World Would Burn.
• She doesn't know what he sees, but sometimes it makes his face beautiful
• Football Season Ended When Hunter S. Thompson Blew His Own Head Off
• do you think i can get all my ideas out? so they aren't lost?
• I like to imagine that Bond's firing the tank shells out of his mouth
• You'll never quite know how much you've lost until you get what you were looking for
• His face when she fell
• left everything on his desk and walked out into the bright sunlight
• Or he'll just kick me in the face and scream abstract noises and dance around outside in his underwear and have sex with the neighbor's dog and try to fly by jumping off the toilet
• Since his eyes were like perfect packed suitcases
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• When the principal laughs so hard he can't suspend you
• A man who never sees a pretty girl without loving her a little
• Why would he want a writer when he could have a dancer?
• He thinks I don't, but I do
• When in doubt, get horizontal
• Don't Go Out the Door
• When Chopin finished a piece he stopped writing it
• He Really Wasn't That Great
• The feeling you get when you hold someone's hand

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