Who wants a riddle wrapped in enigma foil, illuminated by the flickering light of a puzzle lantern on conundrum day? (rhetorical...getting it anyway).

Sex is scary. Sure, the kissing part is fairly safe, and widely approved as a positive act in all but the world's most fundamentalist cesspools. Hugs are ok too. Go much farther beyond that though, and you are in a world of bizarre prohibition, giggling apprehension, and some long hard strokes from the tough love stick of stern authority. Stick with mega-violence, it's more wholesome.

Life doesn't lie to you. It just plays coy. Let's outlaw the expression of destructive violence, but simultaneously present it as a *fun thing* at every opportunity. Just make sure your cock is not hanging out while you blow up that bus. Sure, an aura of sex is omnipresent, as you would expect for the single thing that explains our immediate existence without further acts of faith, but the basics of it are by no means dealt with in any rational manner. Expect to see more spent cartridges on the ground, more ticking bombs, more bloodstained clothing. Don't expect the 'frightening nether region' on prime-time.

The penis is inherently scary. It is far more scary than disembowling, amputation, decapitation, immolation, and even the ever popular vivisection. The vagina is slightly less frightening than the penis, but still scarier than anything you can imagine done with four feet of rope and a straight razor. Even the humble breast is a fearsome beast compared to being shot through the back of the head, or a simple stab wound or two.

Look, we've come so far! Three cheers for the nobility of the human spirit. YAY! yay yaaay