..This girl, anyway.

Pay attention to us. Women can understand through observation as well as through questioning and debating, and you would be wise to emulate this. Even better, make (flattering) observations about us and our lives based on the information we've shared with you. Everyone's a little egotistical. We like to talk about ourselves.

Pay attention in bed. Don't just blindly pursue the goal of your own orgasm, but react to the signals we give you about ours. But this doesn't mean you should go down as soon as the clothes are off - make us beg you to touch us.

Don't be all insecure about our sexual experience. Accept that we've most likely had boyfriends before you and that if we're willing to sleep with you it's most likely because we've slept with other men and gotten the angst and pain out of the way. You are neither Christopher Columbus nor Neil Armstrong. You are merely a tourist in paradise and if you do anything to imply that paradise is somehow less because you're not the first to visit, you're likely to be thrown out.

Once a woman is yours, stare in reverence when she walks into the room, from time to time. If she asks you, 'What?' reply, 'Nothing,' and smile like Cupid's been shooting at your ass with a harpoon gun.

Though it may behoove you to act like a misogynistic ass in the short term, eventually word will get around and no self respecting woman will have you. After the facade of danger and excitement is revealed to be exactly that, we'll see that you're nothing more than an insecure jerk and promtly rid ourselves of you.

Women are subtle creatures. We don't want to have to tell you everything. And this is why, again, you must pay attention. Watch for the signals. They're there. And learn to tell the difference. If your woman wants to go to sleep when you want to have sex, she may be really tired or just not at all interested in having sex with you. If it's the former, she'll be very sweet about it and look into your eyes. If it's the latter, she'll do the same thing with no trace of humor and do sexual (not cuddly) things while she insists she needs to sleep.

Even the strongest woman likes to be treated like a china doll every now and again. This is not the same as condescension. It's more akin to worship.

There is nothing wrong with being attentive and sensitive. However, this behavior can be carried too far. You don't have to hang on our every word or give in to our every whim. The thrill of the chase doesn't end after the first successful pick-up line. If you don't present us with some minor challenges, we're likely to get bored, or worse, feel that you're creepy and obsessive.

Finally, don't take everything your woman says as gospel. If we tell you we like to be touched here and henceforth you make a point of touching us there as frequently as possible, we'll see what you're doing and the magic will go out of it. We tell you these things so that you may store them away in your memory and wisely make use of them. Not so that you can do them every single time. Variety is the spice of life. There are patterns underlying what your woman says she likes and doesn't like. It would benefit you far more to try and discern the nature of these than to repeat everything she admits to enjoying until she no longer does.


It seems some people are still confused.. The last paragraph is the important one. People are complex. All people. Contradictions exist. If there were straight answers to questions of how we should deal with each other, human relations would be idyllic and harmonious and nodes like this wouldn't exist.