Live without sex can be
fulfilling. It can be
lonely. It can be just the same as life with sex except I wake up alone every morning. It gives me the mental space to explore other areas of
life. It allows me to get to know people on
different levels, without thinking "we'll have sex in the future" or "we had sex in the past".
I think the biggest
advantage to life without sex is that I don't have to mess with any
birth control. I've tried birth control pills in the past, and couldn't take them. I felt horrible. The
hormones did bad things to my body and my mind. They say I'm just sensitive, but I think there are a lot of women who are getting negative side effects.
The biggest disadvantage is that I miss
sex. I miss being close to another person. I miss
intimacy and morning
coffee and
showering together. I miss having someone to tell my day to - even if they are
snoring.
I realize many people practice
abstinence for large parts of their lives. Our childhoods (if we're lucky) for one. I don't think people over 75 or 80 have a lot of sex. I think nearly all of us have periods as long as several years when we are truly single. I'm in the midst of one of these periods. I've chosen
money and
career over relationships, and am succeeding wonerfully.
My work prevents me from being in one
place long enough or often enough to form meaningful relationships. And I have come to the point where I realize that there is no point in one-night-stands. Good sex does not happen between strangers.
My biggest
fear is that this period of my life will not end, and I will be abstinent forever. But I've heard friends voice this same fear during their "slow times", and now most of them are happily involved - some are even
married! There's always
hope.