A ritual performed in ancient times to appease the
Twinkie God.
Directions:
- Prepare the Sacrifice
- Remove the Holy Twinkie from its protective wrapping
- Raise the Holy Twinkie towards the Sun
- Scream wildly
- Place the Holy Twinkie upon the altar.
- Raise the plastic knife high above the sacrifice.
- Recite the Prayer to the Twinkie God:
"Oh Lord of Hostess,
guardian of the Cream Filling,
bless us with thine powdered sugar."
- Strike the sacrifice with the plastic knife.
- Feast and rejoice! (serves one)