Difficult to imagine with a cheese topping. At least, I've never heard of any crumpet lover topping with, say, cheese. Popular toppings in Australia, late 20th Century, include Vegemite (don't ask), jam (aka "jelly" to our poor American friends), and peanut butter. Australia's leading manufacturer is Golden. Must be stored in the refrigerator as they grow mold very quickly.

For us Americans, think of a crumpet as being like a heavy and moist english muffin.

Didn't help? Okay. It's a pancake with gas. It's a flat cake, maybe 4 inches across, and 3/4 of an inch high, and it's full of air bubbles. It's not as dry as an english muffin. It's not as 'humid' as a pancake. It's not very sweet, but it's usually a little sweeter than a biscuit.

Not to be confused with a scone.

There is absolutely NO EXCUSE for eating store bought crumpets, they're beyond easy to make! Make them in large batches, eat some, freeze some, and give them away to friends to brighten their mornings!

Crumpets

Makes 8 crumpets
Ingredients

• ¼ Oz. Dried Yeast
• 5 tbsp Lukewarm Water
• ½ tsp Sugar
• 1½ Cups All-Purpose Flour
• ¼ tsp Salt
• 7 tbsp Lukewarm Milk
• 1 Egg, lightly beaten
• 2 tbsp softened Butter
• 2 tbsp Clarified Butter

Equipment

• Small Bowl
• Medium Bowl
• Whisk or Egg Beater
• Medium Skillet
• Spatula
• Crumpet Rings (see below)

Mix the yeast, water, and sugar together in a small bowl and set it aside in a warm, draft-free location for about 10 to 15 minutes, or until the mix starts to bubble from the yeast. If it does not bubble, discard the mix and start again with new yeast.

Stir the flour and salt in a medium bowl. Creat a depression or well in the center and pour in the yeast mixture, along with the milk and the egg. Add the softened butter, and whip or beat it all until well combined into a loose mixture. Cover the bowl with a light towel and let it rise in a warm, draft-free location until it doubles in bulk, approximately one hour.

When the mixture has risen, brush the bottom of a skillet with the clarified butter. Place the pan over medium heat. Grease crumpet rings with clarified butter and arrance on pan, then pour the batter into the rings about 1/3 full.

Cook until open bubbles form on the surface and the bottoms are lightly brown. Remove the rings, turn the crumpets, and lightly brown the other side. Regrease rings as necessary with clarified butter. Serve warm, with butter and jam.

Crumpet Rings

If you don't own any crumpet rings, you can use cans 1½ inches high and 3 inches wide with the tops and bottoms removed. A 7 oz. tuna can works perfectly.

Also used (esp. in England and Australia) to describe a woman, usually an attractive one.

Where an American might say 'a nice piece of ass' an Englishman or Australian might say 'a nice bit of crumpet'.

The only logical explanation I've ever heard for this expression is that:

A) A crumpet is a tasty treat.
B) The woman in question is a tasty treat.
C) One would possibly like to take a bite out of both.

Worth noting is that the word is rarely used in this sense outside the phrase 'bit of crumpet'. For example, one wouldn't say that a woman 'has a nice crumpet' or was a 'real nice crumpet'.

For example, Gillian Anderson (of X-Files fame) was once referred to by a British journalist as:

'the thinking man's bit of crumpet'.

Crump"et (kr?mp"?t), n. [Prob. from W. crempog, crammwgth, a pancake or fritter.]

A kind of large. thin muffin or cake, light and spongy, and cooked on a griddle or spider.

 

© Webster 1913.