A SCENE THAT, TO UNDERSTAND, ONE MUST BE A LED ZEPPELIN FAN.


SCENE: The Hall of SIR JAMES, Lord Riffmaster.
Enter SIR ROBERT, Knight of the Tambourine.

J: Greetings, Sir Robert, Lord of Tambourine.

R: Hail to thee, Sir James, High Lord Riffmaster.
I am come to ask after thy health
Since thou hast so lately been subject to
Such calamity, of which I'll not speak.
 
J: I give thee thanks indeed, my noble friend.
Since I was thrown from yonder mountain by
A cloaked old man with staff so large - I fear
Its size eclipsed even the ferret which
I realise, even now, haunts thy trousers - 
I have, I know, found myself pale and weak.

R: I'm grieved indeed to hear and see that you
Are even more pale and weak than usual.
Peradventure my other purpose in
Coming here will cheer thy dampened spirits
For I bring news which may gladden thy heart.
 
J: Jest with me not, I beg you, noble friend.
Dare I to hope thy tambourine has found
A chair with which you'll keep it safe and sound?

  R: Indeed, sir, thus I will recount to you
A tale of courage, yes, and honour too
(Modesty's not my strong point, it is true.)
I rode at dawn, away to distant lands;
I sailed in ships, embarked on foreign sands.
I rescued maids, and dragons fierce I slew;
My hair was singed, and forced to grow anew
And I was mistaken for Goldilocks
And forced to eat porridge, and wear pink frocks.
But with my trusty sword I broke away
And, fighting hard, thy loyal knight won the day;
And insodoing, stole a wooden chair.
Now, on stage, my tambourine will go there.
So when, in certain songs, I scream and stamp.
It will not need to rest upon the amp.
- FINIS -