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The Best of The Week

I never buried him. He's inside. He can't hurt me anymore. Not directly. Yet he hurts me everyday, whenever I remember. I try not to.

I want to bury him as deep as possible. I want to move on with my life. It's been over a decade. And he's still not gone. Not from the inside.

Doctors gave me chemicals. Anxiety meds. Depression meds. They don't work. Some days, I white-knuckle it. Let the roller coaster take me, hoping to be let off soon.

Other days, the unfairness of life makes me lash out. At people around me. They don't deserve it. I feel bad after.

Today I remember. All morning I ruminate. I should have handled it better. I could have avoided it. What can I do now, to be okay with it?

My friends say how horrible it must have been. I don't need them to refresh my memories. They don't help.

Do I need to fill his grave with more layers of dirt? Even now I can still hear him. Feel his breath on my face.

Why did it have to be me? Why do they have to pity me? He can't hurt me anymore. He can't hurt me anymore.

I am a lifelong skeptic, nay, cynic, when it comes to Eastern medicine and healing practices.  I plead my upbringing; I was birthed and raised by a pair of rigidly positivist western science practitioners.  Neither was a 'traditional' science doer; my father was a science journalist, and my mother was a psychiatrist (and yes, before you ask, that's the one with the M.D.).  I spent the vast majority of my life to date comfortable with the set of options that Western, U.S.-culture-centric offered me.

In which wertperch talks about feels, dealing with old journal/daylog entries, memories of grundoon and Tessie, and weroland, who's in hospice care at home.

i spent a good part of yesterday going through my old daylogs, for two reasons. Partly I wanted a list summarising them all (I used to have such a list on my homenode, but it got killed off due to my using unapproved Unicode characters, which destroyed evrything typed after them =[). The other thing is that I've wanted to

News for Noders


August 4: Happy birthday avalyn!

August 6: 広島

August 9: 長崎

August 27: Happy birthday Bitriot!

If you have an item for this calendar, /msg Tem42.

July 1: Canada Day.

July 4: America Day.

July 25: Happy birthday TanisNikana!

July 26: Happy birthday teleny!


If you have anything to add to this calendar, let Tem42 know.

June 3: Saint kevin's Day.

June 4: Aesop's Birthday.

June 11: TerribleAspect's birthday!

June 13: Serjeant's Muse's birthday!

June 16: Bloomsday.

June 19: Juneteenth.

June 20: Summer solstice (northern hemisphere) and winter solstice (southern hemisphere).

June 21: nicolasstag's birthday!

June 23: AdamTheDewott's birthday!

June 23: weroland's birthday!

June 28: Tau Day.


If you have an item for this calendar, /msg Tem42.

April 1: By popular demand, March has been redacted.

April 10: Happy birthday, nuggets!

April 12: Yuri's Night

April 22: Happy Earth Day, fellow earthlings!

April 23: Saint George's Day.

April 24: Happy birthday, Rancid_Pickle!

April 30: Walpurgis Night.

If you have something to add to the monthly news, /msg Tem42.

February 1: Brevity Quest 2025 begins!

February 2: Happy birthday Auspice!

February 2: Happy birthday npecom!

February 5: Happy birthday wertperch!

February 8: Happy birthday to panamaus

February 15: Happy birthday Admin to the goo!

February 23: Happy birthday Samuel Pepys!

February 29: Happy birthday Browncoat!


If you have an item for this calendar, /msg Tem42.