East Coast mermaids are
cruel.
West Coast mermaids are
cool.
The mermaids of
New York,
New Jersey, the
Carolinas,
Florida, they're just in it for their own
amusement.
Luring the itinerant
sailor to his
death out of
caprice and outright
malice.
But the mermaids of
San Francisco mean no harm.
It's just that they fall in love with beautiful men they see.
(And sometimes with women, too.)
The mermaids of San Francisco lure their fancies beneath the waves out of
affection.
They cannot help but hold so tightly to their objects of
desire.
Do they die, these
surfers and
swimmers who fall into the San Francisco mermaid's
adoration?
Nobody knows, for they are last ever seen sliding beneath the waves in a piscine lover's
embrace.
Unlike the victims of East Coast mermaids, whose bodies are callously left to wash ashore.
All mermaids are to be avoided.
But for different
reasons.