Is a ludicrous woo practice promoted by, of all people, Gwyneth Paltrow, who swears by it. But then again, Gwyneth Paltrow willingly married the most boring member of the most boring band ever and called her children Apple and Moses, so that's hardly a ringing endorsement.
Vaginal steaming allegedly will detoxify your undercarriage and promote healing and lots of other unverifiable things. It is also a guaranteed treatment for an over-stuffed wallet and for a credit balance in your bank account. If you are suffering either of those, then get yourself to a local purveyor of this singular treatment post-haste, as the proprietor's children's private school fees are due and only you can save them from the ignominy of state education and having to (shudder) rub shoulders with poor people! So there you go. What more encouragement do you need?
How it works is this. You, the lady client, hand over your credit card details and are then ushered into a room with a chair in it with a hole in the bottom. You remove your clothes and park your backside on this chair with your legs akimbo. The steamer then shoves a bucket of boiling water, possibly with some herbs in it (which allegedly detoxify you) under the chair and you sit back and relax as the steaming heat from the boiling water warms your clopper all over. Once the water's cooled down, you put your clothes back on and leave, with a general feeling of "well done" in your mind. Because you certainly have been.
So what does this stuff do? Well, it cleans your genitalia (which already are self-cleaning), adds "good plants" (what?) to the vagina (double what?), and aids in fertility (allegedly.) It also is obviously good for you because it was invented by Korean / Ancient Greek / American Indian / insert suitably exotic and/or mystical ethnicity here shamen thousands of years ago so it MUST work, obviously. Because "Western medicine" is so quick to cut and carve and Big Pharma while this is about NATURE and TRADITION. Ahhh no. It was invented by spa owners to turn a profit from credulous rich housewives in the late 2000s and popularised by Gwyneth Paltrow in 2015, who is kinda the credulous rich housewives' God. It does absolutely nothing for you other than cost you money and possibly scald your undercarriage because the thing with boiling water is that it's like, really hot, as in over 100 degrees Celsius hot, and the other thing with boiling water is it bubbles up wodges of hot gases in the form of steam, in which you have placed your sensitive bits directly in the firing line. But then, I suppose this is how you know it works, right? After all, you have to be cruel to be kind.
The most important thing it does, though, is make those who peddle it very rich. The cost of a bucket of water and a few random leaves is very low, and the time and effort required to prepare same is also very low, yet an hour's worth of V-steaming can cost the punter over £100.00. That's a profit margin of 99% on a bad day. I don't know about you, but I'd rather like to have a 99% profit margin on something so low effort. So maybe I'm just bitter that I didn't think of it first.
(IN16/7)