I started to notice it very
early on, and I took it with a
grain of salt at the time. In retrospect it showed me exactly how the
relationship would be. It seemed that no matter where
we went there was always
something keeping us
apart. A telephone call in the middle of
dinner. A man hustling quickly through the
mall dives in between us pushing us
temporarily apart from
eachother.
Omens? I don't think so, they were just
the trickle down effect of the true nature of the
relationship, seeping through into every
facet of it.
I could see it in the most
minor of
her actions, I kept telling myself it wasn't true, I WANTED this to work. But by the end it was more than
obvious, it still
broke me in half when she threw me out, and took what was in the
middle over me. I knew that was much better than what we had, but i still tried to
clammer my way back to
control over the situation. My loss of control surprised me most. Maybe i've lost it, but to this day i still remember every part of it, it all seems so clear and
blatantly obtrusive.
It was all the
little things that showed it most.
Next time, ill watch
closer.