Near Matches
Ignore Exact
Everything
2
The Unbeliever's Defense (idea)
See all of The Unbeliever's Defense
, no other writeups in this node.
(
idea
)
by
EliteGrunt
Sun Dec 24 2000 at 20:18:20
A
technique
that allows someone to
evade
religious
function
s,
scripture
lessons, and the such on the basis that it's against your
religion
. However, this is not restricted to atheists, agnostics, Buddhists, Hinduists, or the such, as one can pledge
allegience
to a certain
obscure
or
obsolete
sect
of the offending religion (the one you're trying to
evade
the
dogma
tic
vapulation
s of). One can plead on a lack of
proper
personnel
to fulfill the required
sacrament
s of the
sect
, or plead on
deep
ly-held beliefs. Here are a particular few that I suggest would be the best in a
Christian
context
:
Abecedarian
s
- those who
claim
ed that, since
knowledge
of the
scripture
s was passed on by the
Holy Spirit
, it was wrong to
learn
or
read
said
scripture
s.
Docetist
s
- those who believed that a mere
phantom
of
Jesus
was
crucified
, not the
real
thing.
Monophysite
s
- those who believed that
Christ
's
human
and
divine
nature
s were one and the same.
Muggletonian
s
(the
silliest
one, in my
opinion
) - those who believed that the
Father
, not the
Son
, died on the
cross
, and that the
Aaron
of the
Book of Revelation
was
Lodowick Muggleton
, a
Seventeenth-Century
tailor
.
Weird
.
Nestorian
s
- those who believed that
Mary
should not be called the
Mother of God
, as she was the
mother
only of the
human
side, not the
divine
side, of
Jesus
Origenist
s
- those who believed men's
soul
s are created before their bodies. Today, these
people
would be
rabid
anti-
abortion
ists
Quietist
s
- those who believed that man should occupy himself wholly with the continuous
contemplation
of
God
to the point of being
detach
ed from infulence by his
sense
s or by the
world
around him. These sorts of people
envy
those
vegetable
s that are
paralyze
d from the neck down that used to be
human
s
Sabellist
s
- those who believed that
God
is indivisbile but has three
successive
roles. Best for evading that
bullshit
about the
Holy Trinity
.
Sandemanian
s
or
Glassite
s
- those who believed that justifying
faith
is no more than a simple
assent
to the divine
testimony
passively received by the
understanding
. Before you question the
meaningful
ness of this, keep in mind that
Michael Faraday
was one of their number. Not to say that
intelligent
people are more
moral
ly correct than the rest of us, just that they tend to look at things more
logical
ly.
Supralapsarian
s
- those who held that
God
put
Man
into a position where he would
inevitably
sin
, and that his
Creator
would thereby have the opportunity of
redeem
ing or punishing him. Use this when you want to say "Don't punish me, let God do it" so you can evade a
fatal beating
or two.
Michael Faraday
Muggletonian
Aaron
Supralapsarian
Sandemanian
Monophysite
Abecedarian
What is Everything?
Quietist
Nestorian
Glassite
vegetable
Holy Spirit
weird
God