Findings:
- These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
- Or he'll just kick me in the face and scream abstract noises and dance around outside in his underwear and have sex with the neighbor's dog and try to fly by jumping off the toilet
- Being solicited for sex by people who don't even know your gender
- They call you heartless, but you have a heart, and I love you for being ashamed to show it. You are ashamed of your flood, while others are ashamed of their ebb.
- Gap analysis of a telephone call
- Notes on ruining the beauty of barren places by being there
- our voices, once clarion, have been muted by time and mortgages
- The classic Warner Brothers cartoon characters have been replaced by lookalikes
- An Account of the Bash at Bier Baron in Celebration of CassParadox's Upcoming Migration to the West Coast, Wherein We Were Loved by All, and Even the Manager Sent Over Free Cream Puffs
- Do you understand what you are, sir, in love? You've been lost at sea, and picked up by a lone stranger on an anchored and recently near-abandoned ghost ship.
- Hit by the realization that they are all getting to know you nodes
- And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for you meddling kids!
- Getting offered money for sex by a crackhead in the 24-hour supercenter
- Swimming pool injury
- While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks
- For all sad words on tongue or pen, the saddest are these: "It might have been."
- they look up at the same night sky, they fill their heart with the same dreams, and they are infused with the breath of life by the same almighty creator
- drum rudiments which sound like they were named by a neural net
- Despite being surrounded by perverts, I manage to have a great time
- The Lovecraftian compulsion to keep noding even as one is being devoured by EDB
- Real hackers start their own IRC networks so that they can't be traced by the FBI
- I fixed my body image issues by looking at people as if they were dogs
- One sock on (or: Getting caught fooling around by the cops)
- The dead eat hope. We had none to give them, so they were pretty emaciated by the end.
- So many people have come and gone, their faces fade as the years go by
- You can win any argument on the internet by being stupid enough
- Open source cars would be doing 200 mpg by now
- They know me not by name, but numbers
- The boys did not know it. They were just being beautiful, and I got to watch.
- my mind has long been gnawed by the cankering tooth of mystery
- Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America
- Guide to determining if you are constantly being mauled by bears
- Given that a and b are integers, a^2 = b^3, and a is even, prove that a must be divisible by 4
- beauty is invented, but it is also personified, and I know this because I have met her
- To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings and Discoveries
- "By their very nature, negatives ought to be more abstract {than positives}."
- Strangers have been, and continue to be, very kind to me. Thank you.
- only by consuming pieces of one another can beings such as we exist
- If I'd have shot her when I met her, I'd be out of jail by now.
- I changed by not changing at all
- Judging women by their books
- Whether by word or deed or thought
- Because the weather is always beautiful, they don't even know that storms can be beautiful too.
- I'm being eaten by a boa constrictor
- Names have been changed
- you get mistaken for strangers by your own friends
- Actors who have portrayed the parent(s) of a character portrayed by Ben Stiller
- Being betrayed by one's own body
- What would aliens think if they talked to an average western human being?
- RFC 602
- Please help us recover your nodes by linking their titles below
- getting by with duff ears
- Man Getting Hit by Football
- Sit by the pool, drink your fill, admire the beauty of it all
- These women who must live like the high Sierra white pine, fed somehow by the alpine wind
- The ringing has been drowned out by voices
- You meant for this node to be read by me, and I would like to respond
- Technically, it's unlikely you were dropkicked by Jesus
- By the way, those chairs, they spin
- SA-8 Gecko (and getting shot down by one)
- sex by association
- Accidental death odds
- awkward sex, lit by the television, seemingly choreographed to the laugh track
- I have been alone while I was with many girls
- The Tragedy of Prince Hamlet and the Philosopher's Stone, or, A Will Most Incorrect to Heaven by William Shakespeare
- Avoid getting screwed by contractors
- Know the mute by finding their storyteller
- even if it's just to smoke with me by this brick wall
- Is this what I have been seeking? Or is it an echo, a remnant, a sign that I was wrong?
- judge a captain not by his shipwrecks, but by whether or not he blames the sea
- And while I stand by what I said, I honestly wasn't intending for him to light himself on fire.
- it was years before they met again, by chance
- And if terrorists wanted to communicate secretly, mightn't they just do so by collaborating on a 'draft' here at e2? Can the NSA check on our drafts? Who knows? Inquiring minds want to know, Jay!
- continuous functions are determined by their values on a dense subset
- Ruminations on being run over by a dump truck
- In the movie of his life, the part of Keanu Reeves will be played by a block of wood, and the critics will pan it for being too expressive
- being beaten into an unhealthy state by other people's pasts
- Being licked to death by kittens
- on being hit by lightning
- By their fruits you shall know them
- How to avoid being urinated upon by your baby boy
- When being chased by CIA trainees, don't mention Belgium to the waffle house physicist
- Why sex in public is generally disapproved of by society
- The Golden Turkey Award for Worst Performance by a Popular Singer
- The reluctant backpacker's guide to being hit by lightning
- Do not put this product into the rectum by using fingers or any mechanical device or applicator
- You find yourself being chased not only by the bad guys, but also by what should be the good guys
- It is never too late to be what you would have been
- and then, one morning, I realised I had been an adult for a while
- getting hit by a guy
- Addressing others by their user names
- Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood
- I've been duped by Satan!
- you would have been
- we're part of something bigger than any one of us. i just feel lucky to have been chosen.
- Completely implausible circumstances, even by comic book standards
- The Punk Meets the Godfather, Part One: Do My Converse look okay? And other preconceptions by a hippie kid
- having you by the short hairs
- Please inquire of past generations, and consider the things searched out by their fathers
- I've been looking so long at these pictures of you that I almost believe that they are real
- Must've Been While You Were Kissing Me
- What if I had never met you? How much the poorer would my life have been.
- They protect us from danger by harming us before we can harm ourselves
- On feeling haunted by words which were never said
- I'll pretend I just cursed myself by saying this, so when it doesn't happen I have something to fall back on other than you
- On getting blown up 8000 miles from home by a man who does not own shoes
- By morning I will have erased all traces that I was ever a bear
- cards written by those paid to condense their thoughts and emotions
- And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music
- I know them by the trucks they drive, the names they call each other, the tattoos on hot, shirtless days, the music they blast after lunch, to get through the rest of the day.
- i would much rather engage directly with the supreme powers of the universe than the horde of ghosts conjured by man
- one by one their blades will grind to a halt and stand still like a white forest.
- Boy, have you been having those dreams of yours again?
- Are you searching to be inspired? Or are you searching to be amused, be content, be happy? What could you have been?
- How many a dispute could have been deflated into a single paragraph if the disputants had dared to define their terms.
- How to get Apache to tell your visitors when files have moved or been deleted
- The dubious distinction of being criticized from the left by the Ku Klux Klan
- The relative risk of being attacked by a shark
- The Wild Colonials
- Changing standards of male beauty purely by force of will
- Buying things just because they have cool packaging
- Being tickled in the neck by a girl you know a little bit
- He makes me feel alone just by being there
- Tell me a story about a burro, standing atop a mesa, surrounded by a flock of geese, being fed by a weathered old man wearing nothing but a Jimmy hat
- If we were machines, we'd have the gift of being eternal and I want you to understand
- Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
- Being pulled over by the cops for speeding
- You don't even have a chance of being happy if you can't let shit go.
- your chances of being killed by a frog are low BUT NEVER ZERO
- The male libido - or - How I was castrated by the 90's
- No one has ever died because they DIDN'T have a toothpick
- I was discovered by scientists, what will they call me?
- They hate us because we're wonderful
- Music that is either by the Sonic Youth or by some band that is ripping off the Sonic Youth, but you can't tell which
- Did we listen to pop music because we were miserable? Or were we miserable because we listened to pop music?
- We're flawed because we want so much more. We're ruined because we get these things and wish for what we had.
- Supporting your views on modern social dynamics by citing anthropology
- Erewhon : Chapter XX - What They Mean By It
- He's been places they have not.
- The Bride Stripped Bare by Her Bachelors, Even
- If you become lucid, you realize history's greatest literature was being written as you read it ...by yourself.
- Being rejected by someone you really respect
- A rose by any other name would smell as sweet
- Ten "extra toppings" received by the "20 fun things to do while ordering a pizza" guy
- This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA
- Fossils were put there by God
- Getting hit by a woman
- By hook or by crook
- I may or may not have been naked
- If you or a loved one have been injured or killed
- Surrounded by strangers with public fingerprints
- You can learn a lot about a person by how they act at an Airport
- Sex just walked by me, and I didn't get any, dammit
- Discovering personalities by watching people with their dogs
- It would have been an excellent story but I had to get off the train
- These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet
- cancer kids hangin around out by the trains
- Sitting next to strangers who fall asleep by me for no reason. Trusting rhythm. An odd intimacy, train trips.
- The lonely ones will find each other by the heat of their bodies
- They are angry and they have been lied to
- By morning I will have erased all traces that I was ever here
- Incarnation, a poem (or something) by polyseeme
- their teary eyes follow us as if our actions are accompanied by tragic music
- Help! My sister's been abducted by Christians!
- The eyes of the dead may not blink, but they have been known to wander
- Sex by candle light
- 278 Books You Should Have Read By Now
- Because they are clowns, that doesn't mean they aren't dangerous. And being dangerous doesn't mean they aren't clowns.
- You were the one beam of light in my life; I responded by putting on sunglasses.
- If it had been able to, the light would have smiled
- No one has ever been bitten to death by a poisonous snake in a ball pit
- Faced with adversity, ad execs promote excess by writing riddles while Rome burns
- It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.
- By evening I will have returned all traces that I was ever here
- my whole life is passing me by and I sometimes wonder why I am even still alive
- The Sightless find Their way by the Warmth
- "Have you noticed that we are surrounded by Germans? Oh my god, you're right!" The quadrennial Cologne Nodermeet, Part II
- It has been claimed that some or all of this article or section is incoherent and not understandable, and should possibly be reworded if the intended meaning can be determined
If you Log in you could create a "because, even if the article's worst insinuations were accurate, these kids would at least have been having consensual sex, and not getting their pussies groped by strangers or being ogled by the adult funder of a beauty pageant while they changed" node. If you don't already have an account, you can register here.