Here's the stuff we found when you searched for ""Can we please have ONE day where nothing tries to kill me or eat me or cut me into pieces?""

• Or he'll just kick me in the face and scream abstract noises and dance around outside in his underwear and have sex with the neighbor's dog and try to fly by jumping off the toilet
• The Weddings I have Performed, or Why God is Gonna Kill Me
• Is it you, Sir, who cut me? Or is it I who cut you?
• Put That Thing Back Where it Came From or So Help Me
• I have no proof that he would ever want to kiss or destroy me.
• give me the truth or nothing
• Is it me or are there more bisexuals these days?
• I'm beginning to think that nothing I think or say makes sense to anyone but me
• or that no one has made me feel wanted
• I don't believe in God or the soul but these machines can make me cry
• No one asks me if I'm a Satanist or anything because I take the precaution of wearing a predominantly flannel and hawaiian shirt-oriented wardrobe
• you can only make me dizzy if you're spinning me in leaves or snowflakes
• please come stay with me in the forest so at least i have one person with whom i have no secrets
• My soul is in a million pieces. I tried to collect most of them, but some are missing, and the ones I have don't fit together anymore. Feel free to take a piece or two.
• I will REMOVE your "All your radical touching base are already occurred to the lesbian monkey puppy" philosophy on me if you don't eat my soy google balls, hatt-baby. Real or malarky?
• Give Me Powerpuff Girls Hentai or Give Me DEATH
• Please eat the last bite of my cookie for me, then?
• Me Talk Pretty One Day
• Stand up for yourself, OR: How I got the shit kicked out of me
• Can you see the tension piling on me in waves? Look into my eyes.
• I would have tried, but Charlotte kept Charlotte in the world of Charlotte and she barely heard me
• Everything Quest: You kids stop your fighting or I will turn this car around so help me God
• Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel no compulsion to get up from the table
• I was wrong as a child, to think old people were stupid for asking me where the day had gone. Now I understand... we older people do not live.
• Oh, False One, You Have Deceived Me
• Someone please kill me
• The Mobility Divide: or why I want you to give me $20,000 in the 21st century
• I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me
• But I'm a good person! Yeah great you wanna help me with this or what?
• He tells me that I could have his heart and I want to take it right then, slip it into my pocket and run
• Your piercing intelligence would undo or invigorate me
• I would like for love not to kill me, please
• can you show me where this came from?
• Love Me or Leave Me
• What do you know of me, or I of you?
• One of these days the cops will catch up with me
• To anyone who this may have hurt, please forgive me. The darkness keeps calling and I must go.
• I have morphed into the drab colors that surround me
• Nothing can stop me now
• It is something very shameful. Please contact me again if I can be of further service.
• I can't decide if what you're saying is too profound for me to comprehend or just insane
• How to say "I can eat glass, it does not hurt me"
• I don't know what's killing me more, the beauty or the emptiness.
• Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
• If you or a loved one have been injured or killed
• You should have killed me when you had the chance
• So then I tried staring into the abyss, but it got distracted by a weasel and ditched me
• Give me head or the monkey gets spanked
• Ruining your illusions of me. Or cementing them.
• Is that massive cerebral hemorrhaging, or are you just happy to see me?
• Do you love me or are you in love?
• it is a new dawn and I am a new me, this you can have if you want
• Is Everything2 making me more or less intelligent?
• Here's your chance to live through me, to right your wrongs or wrong my rights
• I take a long time to ejaculate. Do I have a problem?
• Drugs Or Me
• Sword Lesbian, or: Give me a marker and a blank space and I shall move a bit of the world
• Give me Liberty or give me death
• If poetry could describe the way you make me feel, poetry would be illegal. Or anyway I might get arrested.
• Can you hear me Maggie Thatcher? Your boys took one hell of a beating
• It's Me or the Dog
• Have One On Me
• I've crossed lines of words and wire, and both have cut me deep
• Perhaps pain will stop me where good sense and virtue have failed
• Changing Your Life For Free (Or, 12-Step Programs?!: WTF Is In It For Me?!)
• a light wind is enough to make me smile or cry
• I recall the last 20 years as succinctly as I can in one node: bear with me
• I have built me a bean-stalk into your sky!
• Give me assembly language, or give me death!
• me or the gun
• Sealing wax color code, or: Stop asking me what the letter says damn you
• Can someone send me a photo of the server my nodes are on, please?
• Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel a strong compulsion to get up from the table
• one was giving me the eye but nothing came of it
• There is a family in me somewhere and some days it tries to tickle its way out.
• he tried to kill me with a forklift
• Who's dreaming it, then? You, or me?
• Please Kill Me
• I don't know why but I always love episodes without words. like just something about them makes me feel calm or something..
• pieces of metal are nothing to me, little human
• There's nothing you can do to me that Castro hasn't already done
• I try not to eat the bullshit they feed me
• I hope they kill me while I'm standing here, so I can die happy.
• I'm Harriet Harman, you know where you can get me
• You have the right to be angry at me for breaking my heart.
• Strange things homeless people have said to me
• Take me back to the day that I went blind
• Can you show me?
• Things Fairy Tales have taught me
• Listen to me, because I am in the soapbox. This is the voice of the soapbox. I am calling to you. Do you hear the sounds of my soaply siren song? My syntactically sweet strumming along to sequential sequestrations of symmetrically snakey st
• Sex and death have both spat me out like spoiled milk for the same reason. I was not afraid.
• Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, think I'll go eat worms
• You Don't Have To Say You Love Me
• You haven't seen it and you don't understand. I have malice. I have cruelty. The little fire that's always been inside me isn't so little anymore.
• I write you, when I can't have you near me.
• Trust me, I have a pineapple
• no power in the verse can stop me
• If I win the bet, you have to pay me
• Against my will it is seeping into me, this information.
• Can You Take Me Back
• Can you hear me knocking?
• I just submit to one or two days of horror for going out and playing at being a normal functioning person
• Correct me if I'm wrong, and if I am, I'll eat a bug
• what little I have is starting to get to me
• I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy
• A letter to those who have impressed me
• She asked me to copy my poem into her notebook
• I'm swimming in sarcasm sea, your semantics have no effect on me
• To a Poet, who would have me Praise certain Bad Poets, Imitators of His and Mine
• Have you ever wondered how many gears a car can have? Or: My experiences with an East German vehicle
• You have no power over me
• The styrofoam packing peanuts are going to eat me!
• Launch me into space, and I'll never need to come back
• Promise me disappointment so I can stop holding out for glory.
• I don't have any secrets. Now ask me if I have any lies.
• You eat toffee on toast. You kiss me every morning. I love you.
• It's not worth thinking about. Have some tea. Come walk with me.
• I keep thinking I'm so tough but I rarely care enough to prove it. So am I really tough then? Or does every dog just have its day?
• I fall in love with my migraine, every day he seduces me with a kiss.
• can u c me i guess n (user)
• the good days are killing me too
• it'd break my heart but if i knew you got away it'd give me peace of mind till the day i die
• Eat Me
• eat me 2000 (user)
• You just have to tell me these things, okay?
• tell me what you have in your heart
• Foolish man. You cannot turn me into a phantom because you are frightened.
• words hiss into me
• Dogs that have owned me
• Look into my eyes and tell me
• I may not have had enough of me but I've had enough of you
• My neighbours are going to make me into a creepy voyeur
• e2 is turning me into an alcoholic
• Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can make me think I deserved it.
• Anonymous Men Think They Can Talk To Me
• I wish you could have met me before I became food
• I don't have a life; Everyone else wants to live my life for me
• The wheels are moving beneath me. I have not missed my train.
• I Hope You Can Help Me I've Called Everywhere
• Things Musicals Have Taught Me
• ask me that again and look into my eyes
• It could have been me
• You can see right through me
• The day he gave me a lift
• You can get to my heart by making me cry
• I feel disillusionment creeping up on me like the day after a 21st birthday. A deep sigh of shallow disappointment.
• I would've taken an axe to it, but I'm pretty sure the dryad would have pulverized me
• Friend, you have a lot to learn if you think loving me would be a bad idea.
• I a man sad, with a linux box, a slow internet connection and friends who can not see the love in me bursting to get out.
• I met him two days ago and now he wants to fly me to Peru
• I'm taking all I have to take, this taking's gonna shape me
• You ever have one of those days where you go, "Well. This might as well happen."
• Can anyone bring me some Shazbot?!
• I can feel you forgetting me
• Eat me beat me lady
• can you get enough of me?
• I want you to hit me as hard as you can
• Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned
• when even the plants have abandoned me
• Dreamy things people have said to me
• You don't have to catch me. You don't need to bring me back.

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