Alcoholic beverage. To construct, you'll need a gallon container and the following:

• 2 litres of grape soda.
• 24 oz. (two cans) of Mountain Dew.
• one pint of white rum.
• one pint of vodka (don't get the generic kind. splurge, or you'll have a nasty hangover.)

Mix everything in the gallon container, add triple sec to taste (usually just a splash or so, but some people like more), chill and serve over ice. This will last for a while (unless mixed at a decent party) and is probably the Earthly equivalent to the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. Enjoy!

---

Back to the Bartender

Alternatives to the above are:

from www.webtender.com
• 4 parts Grape Kool-Aid
• 1 part Everclear

or

Equal parts of:
• Ginger ale
• Grape juice
• Vodka
• Grain Alcohol

That last one I found as just Purple Jesus, but I'd say both would be enough to make you scream. Cheers!