First, clean the marijuana, taking care to get all of the stems and seeds out. Then, you have a couple of choices: you can either cannabalize a cigar for the paper, or you can take the cheap way out and buy so-called "blunt papers", which are usually nothing more than overpriced tobacco leaves. If you're going to take the second option, then there's not much else I can help you with, as it's about the same as rolling a joint. However, if you chose the first option, then read on....Step one is gutting the cigar. Take a razorblade or a sharp knife and slit down the center of the cigar, lengthwise. Then, carefully pull apart the cigar and remove the innards. You should be left with the cigar's outer shell, which I'll call the paper. The second step is to prepare the paper. Lick the paper, and get it very moist. Then, much like rolling a joint, fill the paper with your dope, and roll like normal. When you've got a nice, neat cylinder (or something close to a cylinder), dry the blunt out with a lighter. Run the flame up and down the blunt quickly, and make sure you don't set that bad boy on fire just yet. When the blunt is dry, spark that mutha up. Congratulations! Now you know how to prepare a favorite ghetto cuisine.

Or, for an added treat, try this ghetto fabulous trick:

follow the blunt rolling steps as specified by #include until you get to the step he calls "preparing the paper". Then, instead of licking that philly wrap to moisten it, try coating it with a thin layer of honey. Then fill the sweet shell with your bud and follow the rest of the steps as normal. This method may require a slightly longer drying period, but the sweet taste and high you will get from your honeyblunt is well worth the wait.

You kids with your fancy talk. Phat. We used to play around with that phoneme. In fact, a good friend of mine went by the handle Ph. But it stood for phart. He had gastro-intestinal problems which could empty a car in two seconds. I shit you not, there was this one time we picked up this American Indian dude who was hitchhiking back to Wisconsin or some such place, and we were in this old Chevy that had been wrecked, and the windows didn't work. So Ph lets one fly (and he always prided himself on the auditory quality of his work, but this never ceased to take a back seat to the aroma), and speaking of back seats; that's where the hitchhiker was, trying to take a nap. He woke up suddenly and tried to roll the window down. As the handle just turned in his hand, like some sort of dysfunctional jack in the box, the full power of the air biscuit hit him. I don't think I ever saw, before or since, a person's face actually turn green. He opened the door and puked on the side of Highway 36 at 60 MPH.

But what was I talking about? Oh, yeah. Blunt. What's up with this blunt stuff? Was reefer, joint, nail, doobie, etc. not good enough for you? Gotta come up with one of your own? Well, this one sucks. At least the way we used to roll 'em, it sucks. Why, back in my day, any "blunt" would be as tapered at the end as a pig's dick. No, I have never seen a pig's dick, but this girl told me about them. No, I won't give you her phone number. Shut up.

There were a couple of ways to make a marijuana cigarette actually blunt on the end. One was this contraption with a little handle and a large rubber thing on rollers. That never took off. Too bulky to carry around, and we know that dope smokers must be mobile, eh? The better idea was the little magic carpet roller. I think they were called Bamboo Rollers. This was the ticket to the perfect spliff. The little drug rug was about the size of a dollar bill, but just a bit wider. It had (perhaps) 50 little reeds attached by a couple of strings, just like a little rug. The two ends were pieces of cardboard, about the size of a business card.

You'd lay the little magic carpet down and put your rolling paper on the little reeds. You'd leave just about a quarter of an inch between the cardboard end and the bottom of the paper. There's where you'd put your dope. Then all you had to do was fold the cardboard end over the dope and gently roll the little reeds up until all you could see was the gummed part of the paper. Lick, stick, and voila: The perfect joint. The phat blunt, if you will. Although we would have whipped some hippie's ass if he'd used that term back then. . . Operation Just 'Cause.