Change

It had been four years since I'd seen her.  Four years, in which she'd gone from a gawkish, coltish, adolescence to--well, to the gorgeous flower of womanhood, if I must be cliche, although such a metaphor is--for the first time, I understand--completely fitting.  As she first took the stage, I stared at her, unable to understand why this slender young woman looked so familiar--and then I realized both who she was and and whom she had become.

She had cut short her flame-red hair, and put what remained of it in intricate knots piled on the back of head, but leaving twin flares to come down from her temples and frame a face in which were set those too-red lips that shocked against the paleness of her face.  She smiled, and her teeth flashed in the spotlight's artificial sun as the crimson dress she wore like a glove glittered like the twinkling of small supernovae.  In that instant, she was utterly beautiful to me--utterly feminine, in a way that had nothing of contrivedness about it, nor yet vulnerability.  She did not submit; she gave, and was enriched--and my heart went out to her.

Change is The Dismemberment Plans' fourth full release. As the title says, it is a change from the sound of older Plan albums. It has a considerably softer, "maturer" sound. Lead singer Travis Morrison's vocals sound better than ever though, and his lyrical style has changed for the better.

1. Sentimental Man - 4:16
2. The Face of the Earth - 4:46
3. Superpowers - 4:48
4. Pay for the Piano - 3:23
5. Come Home - 5:05
6. Secret Curse - 2:50
7. Automatic - 4:16
8. Following Through - 4:38
9. Time Bomb - 4:24
10. The Other Side - 3:45
11. Ellen and Ben - 5:01

The album begins strongly with the Talking Heads influenced Sentimental Man and The Face of the Earth, a song about being picked up off the Earth by a vortex. The standout tracks come with Timebomb and The Other Side. Timebomb sounds like a track right off of Emergency and I, and the The Other Side shows off drummer Joe Easley's talents. Overall, Change is the perfect follow-up to Emergency and I and shows a change in the right direction for the Plan.

Change can get you thrown into jail.

That doesn't make a lot of sense to the casual reader, I'll confess. I'll tell you what happened in an effort to clear up the issue.

I'm a gadget guy. I'm one of millions of guys who think a few hours browsing the shelves of a well stocked hardware store qualifies as fun. I like to browse and get ideas for future projects, new ways to do things, and new offerings in gadgetry.

I and my significant other were doing just that last Monday, utilizing the Memorial Day break for shopping and browsing and just spending some time together.

Imagine my joy when I found something I'd never seen before. It was an adaptation to an old item. Everyone knows what a wheelbarrow is, that tried and true workhorse on almost every work site. This new thing is a wheelbarrow with 2 wheels, set about a foot apart. The old style with the single wheel is inherently unstable as it is a 3 point system when in use. The system has its advantages as the operator can tip the load at almost any angle, but in hauling topheavy loads it is subject to flop over and lose its cargo.

The new configuration becomes a four point system, making it much more stable. It was love at first sight. I could imagine hauling away with nary a tip over or tumble with that new machine.

I found an associate, the proper term for the drone hiding from actually serving a customer. She was a skinny little wench who looked like she was 2 hours late for a cigarette break. I'll bet she had to put a brick in her pocket when the wind blew to stay standing on the ground. I considered offering her a Mcgift certificate, but thought if I wanted her help, I should restrain myself from sarcasm. I drew this surly wretch from her hiding place and asked her for details on the new wheelsbarrow, thinking my change-up to the name both cute and innovative. She didn't smile, didn't give a hint that she'd noticed my little gambit other than to narrow her already reptilian slits even further. Her lips pressed together until I swear they disappeared. I repeated my inquiry only to have her ask me to wait while she took care of another pressing matter.

I dithered about happily for a half hour, looking at other stuff until the associate showed up, this time with a gentleman who identified himself as an agent for the Immigration and Naturalization Service in tow. Little Miss Lizard Eyes had called the INS on me, mistaking my clever little verbal two step with the unfamiliarity with our native tongue one would expect from an illegal. I started talking fast and furiously, making a bad situation much worse. If I had been hard to understand before, my speech had now become completely unintelligible.

Hearing the tone, speed, and volume of her husband, my wife popped her head out of the pup tent she had been investigating. The INS guy took one glance at her, thought she was some chick in a burka, and pulled his gun on her. He must have thought she was a suicide bomber getting ready to take out the campfire at a National Park or something, anyways, he was taking no chances. I stepped between them, offering my rather substantial bulk as a suitable target. I figured if I got shot, this sad episode would at least come to an end, and if I didn't get shot, I'd get points from Frau for the gesture. Fat chance. Before I could say "Well, I'll be John Brown", she'd poked me in the tukis with a weenie fork from the grill display. I started howling like a madman, and Johnny Law was sure I'd just declared jihad right there between the camping gear and the riding mowers. He'd have shot me as dead as last year's garden too, if he hadn't gotten his feet tangled up in the weedeater display and fell flat, losing his 9mm in the process.

I know an opportunity when I see one. I grabbed Frau by her weenie fork wielding hand and took to my heels, towing her out the front. We jumped into Her Majesty's Barge, turned the engine, and took off into the sunset. I hope the security cameras didn't get our plates on the way out the exit.

Here I am at home again, the holiday gone, with fork marks in my butt, making me look like I sat on a rattlesnake. No sexy new wheelsbarrow sitting in my shed. No prospects of returning to that particular hardware in the foreseeable future. All I got out of all that excitement and danger was a free weenie fork.

Change ain't all it's cracked up to be.

Change (?), v. t. [Imp. & p. p. Changed (?); p. pr. & vb. n. Changing.] [F. changer, fr. LL. cambiare, to exchange, barter, L. cambire. Cf. Cambial.]

1.

To alter; to make different; to cause to pass from one state to another; as, to change the position, character, or appearance of a thing; to change the countenance.

Therefore will I change their glory into shame. Hosea. iv. 7.

2.

To alter by substituting something else for, or by giving up for something else; as, to change the clothes; to change one's occupation; to change one's intention.

They that do change old love for new, Pray gods, they change for worse! Peele.

3.

To give and take reciprocally; to exchange; -- followed by with; as, to change place, or hats, or money, with another.

Look upon those thousands with whom thou wouldst not, for any interest, change thy fortune and condition. Jer. Taylor.

4.

Specifically: To give, or receive, smaller denominations of money (technically called change) for; as, to change a gold coin or a bank bill.

He pulled out a thirty-pound note and bid me change it. Goldsmith.

To change a horse, or To change hand Man., to turn or bear the horse's head from one hand to the other, from the left to right, or from the right to the left. -- To change hands, to change owners. -- To change one's tune, to become less confident or boastful. [Colloq.] -- To change step, to take a break in the regular succession of steps, in marching or walking, as by bringing the hollow of one foot against the heel of the other, and then stepping off with the foot which is in advance.

Syn. -- To alter; vary; deviate; substitute; innovate; diversify; shift; veer; turn. See Alter.

© Webster 1913.

Change, v. i.

1.

To be altered; to undergo variation; as, men sometimes change for the better.

For I am Lord, I change not. Mal. iii. 6.

2.

To pass from one phase to another; as, the moon changes to-morrow night.

© Webster 1913.

Change, n. [F. change, fr. changer. See Change. v. t.]

1.

Any variation or alteration; a passing from one state or form to another; as, a change of countenance; a change of habits or principles.

Apprehensions of a change of dynasty. Hallam.

All the days of my appointed time will I wait, till my change come. Job xiv. 14.

2.

A succesion or substitution of one thing in the place of another; a difference; novelty; variety; as, a change of seasons.

Our fathers did for change to France repair. Dryden.

The ringing grooves of change. Tennyson.

3.

A passing from one phase to another; as, a change of the moon.

4.

Alteration in the order of a series; permutation.

5.

That which makes a variety, or may be substituted for another.

Thirty change (R.V. changes) of garments. Judg. xiv. 12.

6.

Small money; the money by means of which the larger coins and bank bills are made available in small dealings; hence, the balance returned when payment is tendered by a coin or note exceeding the sum due.

7. [See Exchange.]

A place where merchants and others meet to transact business; a building appropriated for mercantile transactions.

8.

A public house; an alehouse.

They call an alehouse a change. Burt.

9. Mus.

Any order in which a number of bells are struck, other than that of the diatonic scale.

Four bells admit twenty-four changes in ringing. Holder.

Change of life, the period in the life of a woman when menstruation and the capacity for conception cease, usually occurring between forty-five and fifty years of age. -- Change ringing, the continual production, without repetition, of changes on bells, See def. 9. above. -- Change wheel Mech., one of a set of wheels of different sizes and number of teeth, that may be changed or substituted one for another in machinery, to produce a different but definite rate of angular velocity in an axis, as in cutting screws, gear, etc. -- To ring the changes on, to present the same facts or arguments in variety of ways.

Syn. -- Variety; variation; alteration; mutation; transition; vicissitude; innovation; novelty; transmutation; revolution; reverse.

© Webster 1913.