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You are my electronic human being: my second chance, my way to mend the past.

created by flyingfish

(person) by flyingfish (1.6 y) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Tue Aug 29 2000 at 0:57:11

When you talked of suicide I was one of the first to respond. Maybe I did care as much as I said I did, perhaps we really had formed some relationship through our idle conversations online...more than likely I saw you as a chance to recompense for my denial of a real-life friend in this same, all-too-real situation.

But you are frail and disposable. I can turn you off with the click of a mouse. Or I can just pretend I'm not there...ignore you.

If I say I'm crying, laughing...do you really know? I can hide the cruel things in my mind so much better than I ever could in the physical world.

These things we use to keep us together are too intagible. You are just the by-product of my good intentions--my unstable conscious working overtime to make up for past evils.

I hold your life in this little box of eletronic devices. I don't know you beyond this screen. If you killed yourself, would it make a difference to me?

It would...even if I couldn't bring myself to acknowledge your physical existence I would still mourn for your virtual demise...because you can show me how frail and disposable I am. With a click of a gun you can kill what I like to call my good intentions. I'm so dependent upon this electronic fix, my virtual addiction, forever feeding off these textual fractions of reality.

I could have been a savior twice now but I just ended up appeasing my ego. Maybe you can tell me just where I went wrong. On the internet of course...I can't trust myself in the real world anymore.


printable version
chaos

The irony of my electric addiction The "My parents suck with computers" node Please don't apologize for your identity Suicide is Painless
Somehow my life falls into place all good electronics fear abandonment Killing A Vampire: A Cross-Cultural Survey of Methodology Time Stops for No Mouse
OHM: The Early Gurus Of Electronic Music Chessmen of Mars Chapter 3 heat gun Systematic downvoting
British Invasion Therapy the tyranny of lost loves Internet kisses are merely clicks and hisses
three clicks past broken mouse elbow It is well oiled, you will click into it like a happy cog Hacking your mouse
Relying too heavily on a mouse Unified Field Theory the perfect being Go Away
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