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When life gives you lemons, grab it by the throat and demand better

created by Cow Of Doom

(idea) by Cow Of Doom (3 y) (print)   ?   6 C!s I like it! Thu May 04 2000 at 7:26:10

When life gives you lemons, or when life is giving you shit for that matter, you don't have to just take it.

Yeah, sure, life is hard sometimes. And sometimes, your best bet really is to take what you've been given and work with it to try to make it something better. But nothing says you have to take the lemons and shit you're constantly given and work with them. Nowhere is it written that when given lemons and/or shit, you are required try to make lemonade, or at least some kind of strange, lemon and feces-based beverage with them.

You don't have to make the best of every bad situation - you can get the hell out of that situation! No one ever got rich or famous making lemonade, so go for it! Sure, maybe you'll fuck up, and end up penniless and destitute, but at least you won't be on your knees, thanking the powers that be for the opportunity to have shit on your hands and lemon juice squirted in your eyes! You have another choice! You have free will!

You can ignore the lemons, ignore the poop, and grab life by the lips and just YANK as hard as you can! Throw it to the ground, beat it senseless and take its fucking wallet! And yell triumphantly "NO! NO GODDAMN IT, I WILL NOT TAKE THESE LEMONS OR THIS SHIT, SO FUCK YOU!"

Remember: no one makes your decisions but you. You can decide to be cruel or kind, generous or selfish. You can decide to live however you like. But for "Bob"'s sake, decide already. Don't let someone else decide for you. Your life depends on it.


(idea) by mrichich (22.8 hr) (print)   ?   1 C! I like it! Mon Aug 14 2000 at 2:23:00

You know, some of us don't even like lemonade. Besides, I think the people who say, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!" haven't had too many lemons to deal with in their lifetime. When you're sitting in the middle of a big-ass lemon grove and the lemons just keep pelting you in the head, metaphorically speaking, the last thing on your mind is "Gee, I should make a tasty soft drink out of these things that are causing me no end of annoyance and injury! All the shit that life is burdening me with can be resolved by making a tasty beverage! That's it! What was I thinking!"

Sometimes, the only correct answer is to somehow get the lemons to stop. Sometimes, you don't need any more freakin' lemonade.


printable version
chaos

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