The Man with two Brains

dir. Carl Reiner, 1983. Written by George Gipe and Steve Martin.

Starring Steve Martin as the recently widowed Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr, a brilliant brain surgeon who revolutionized the field with his patented screw-top method of access. He marries and fruitlessly lusts after the sexy but evil Dolores (Turner), but falls in love with Anne Uumellmahaye, a preserved brain in Dr. Necessiter's laboratory. They have so much in common! Their last names are unpronouncable and unspellable to everyone but each other and they can both recite 'Pointy Bird.'

Dr. Necessiter's brains are dying, however, so the doctor must quickly find a body for Anne. One one hand he has a perfect physical specimen in Dolores; on the other, a beautiful mind in Anne. Can he have both qualities in one woman?

"Were you out on the lake today kissing a brain?"

Kathleen Turner as Dolores Benedict
David Warner as Dr. Necessiter
Paul Benedict as the butler who had to make a Tahitian Lady for Dr. Hfuhruhurr and who had to carry the paper 'dungeon' door out all the time.

One of my favorite lines? "Into the mud, scum queen!" I knew someone whose BBS handle was "Scum queen."

Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: You! You're the elevator killer! Merv Griffin!
Merv Griffin: Yeah.
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Why?
Merv Griffin: I don't know. I've always just loved to kill. I really enjoyed it. But then I got famous, and - it's just too hard for me. And so many witnesses. I mean, *everybody* recognized me. I couldn't even work anymore. I'd hear, "Who's that lurking over there? Isn't that Merv Griffin?" So I came to Europe to kill. And it's really worked out very well for me.

I'm making a citizen's annulment. Ipso facto coitus interruptus.

I don't know if I was interested so much in the science as I was in the slime that goes along with it. Snakes and frogs. When I saw how slimy the human brain was, I knew that's what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

O pointy birds,
o pointy pointy,
anoint my head,
anointy-nointy