Findings:

• cat haters
• What do girls think about guys who think about what other people think about girls and what they do?
• You say "the internet" but you mean "the world wide web"
• Thinking you know more about computers than the tech you just called
• Right-wing doesn't automatically mean racist
• Wandering about with keys dangling from an oversized shoelace around your neck
• On reading letters that bitch about scantily-clad models on magazine covers
• What do girls think about guys when they catch guys staring at their breasts, but the guy is actually trying to read her shirt?
• They don't realize they're talking about death but I can hear it behind their voices
• Rednecks hating Canada
• Inability to decide on what your morals and values should be
• Dead links in writeups
• Things people put up their butts
• People who argue, using terms they refuse to define
• When people say "All-American", they seldom mean me.
• People who think they have to double-click everything
• Black People Hate Me and They Hate My Glasses
• People who don't capitalize their I's
• Flaunting your sexuality
• Expecting your wedding to be the happiest day of your life
• The problem with people who think life is inexpressibly beautiful is that they so often try to express it anyway
• Capitalize, please
• The world wide web as a subset of the internet
• We all love movies and books about us owning ourselves
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• Men who are willing to listen to women talk about their periods
• Never argue with an idiot. They bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
• Having an S on a transcript rather than a B
• Reading ahead in comic calendars
• Too many people say "I love you" when they mean "I like you"
• Know your pets
• Too many people say nothing when they mean "I love you"
• What people talk about when they can't think of anything to talk about
• It's hard to know what to say when a friend's parent they always hated suddenly dies
• Supporting your views on modern social dynamics by citing anthropology
• The bored who complain
• They say all you need is love, but chocolate doesn't hurt either.
• Who cares about a bunch of people in Austria
• people do, on the whole, have the right to be who they want to be
• If you complain about the content of the news, you are deluded about its purpose
• They try to be quiet but you know they are there with their weird coppery breath.
• What Italian guys are really talking about when they say "Ey Oh"
• play dumb
• their eyes meet for the first time, but they saw each other's hearts
• I feel the way bank robbers must feel before they go out on that last job that ends up getting them all killed. That is to say, optimistic.
• Scientists who have genetically designed their children for superior 'fros
• Where do dogs get their Vitamin C from, when they don't eat fruits?
• "Ha ha," says the Israeli voter to the American voter, "don't talk to me about the lesser of two evils."
• Susan Goldman, who has cervical cancer, is partly thankful as she braces herself but changes her mind as she's sprayed with burning jet fuel.
• Dogs are for wimps who don't have the guts to bite people themselves
• The People who Fell into the Sky
• Ten things I hate about restaurant customers
• What some stuffy Victorians had to say about poetry
• Are all male catlovers gay?
• People should understand where their food comes from
• They Say that in the Army
• It's not enough they take your life away with a gun; they have to take it away with their pens, too
• to that end they offer you their bare bellies. pick up the knife.
• But who nodes the noders?
• 10 Things I Hate About You
• Tell your kids things that they shouldn't know about
• Real hackers start their own IRC networks so that they can't be traced by the FBI
• Paper, rock, scissors. They all have their pros and cons.
• I'm not a dyke just 'cause I shaved my head, but if it keeps certain people away, fuckin' A right on
• They know me not by name, but numbers
• I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me
• The difference between reply and reply to all
• To all the cold people who want to be warm again
• by people who know what salsa should taste like
• people on the bottom-side of the world wet their hair with tears
• They say that I have the best ass below 14th Street
• White guys who say "-izzle"
• They need food AND water? You didn't tell me about the water part.
• Maybe you have a really large living room, full of people with loose morals and confused expectations about the rock culture.
• There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how
• They blew up the world, but what really pisses me off
• It's all right to be filled with hate, people are stupid
• Listen to what the flower people say
• You're one of those people who knows all the words to every song, aren't you?
• What do you say to someone who has just had an abortion?
• Judging women by their books
• Writers don't look for their big breaks. They write them.
• Does hate scare people?
• What They Did To the Desert People
• They Spent Their Wild Youthful Days in the Glittering World of the Salons
• You can learn a lot about a person by how they act at an Airport
• Three people who are spies and a horse who will also be a spy
• They say the prettiest girls get to be angels
• 80% of the wealth on this planet is in the hands of about 220 people
• the morning snowdrops fall like dew in the sunlight and fill my heart with their icy cold and all i can think about is you
• I won't tell you the real reason why I hate you, but I'll tell you another which is just as good
• Everything popularity contest
• Don't you hate these clever people and these clever-people parties?
• When life gives you lemons, suck on them. Seriously, lemons taste awesome.
• People on the dance floor who don't dance
• The best part of having a roommate is getting to bitch about them incessantly
• I hate to break it to you, President Bush, but $300 ain't jack
• Gods exist but will only talk to those who stay awake after bedtime under the covers.
• Why people who get the wrong number make it out to be your fault
• 100% of people who don't smoke, die
• They say it's never too late
• They who monitor the Internet
• The apostrophes of Ginger's Creek
• The rules of pool are not selective
• People who meander briefly through your life and change you forever
• Using a command line
• The sand people ride in single file to hide their numbers
• Things I hate about being a conservative Republican
• You sad cookie, you *care* more about filthy rich pretty people you'll never meet
• The dark riders were not sleeping. They were only resting their eyes.
• I never remembered my dreams until they started being about you
• Women who don't realize they're pregnant until they give birth
• You say you love; but with a voice
• They hate us because we're wonderful
• People will do anything stupid if they read it on a sign
• If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
• We are the People Our Parents Warned Us About
• I love my apartment but hate the management.
• The eyes of the dead may not blink, but they have been known to wander
• Type A blood
• Open letter from Saddam Hussein to the American peoples and the western peoples and their gov'ts
• I will make your oppressors eat their own flesh and they shall be drunk with their own blood like wine
• What science fiction says about the technology of its time
• Claiming to think of an individual of the opposite sex as a sibling
• The Knights Who say Ni!
• Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody
• If we define things as unreal, they may still be real in their consequences
• Guys who don't tell you they have a girlfriend
• Tell me a story about a burro, standing atop a mesa, surrounded by a flock of geese, being fed by a weathered old man wearing nothing but a Jimmy hat
• They were looking for God but found religion instead
• It wasn't so much what you said, or what I did, but more what you said I did, and what I didn't say at all.
• GAH! I HATE NODESHELLS FOR THE DEPENDENCIES THEY CAUSE!
• How to say "No" and have people listen
• People want what they cannot have
• So many people have come and gone, their faces fade as the years go by
• Everything you ever wanted to know about theatre tech, but were afraid to ask
• Everyone Thinks the Best about Their Own Children
• There's an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to.
• Talking like a pirate is fun but annoys people
• I don't know who Amber is, but she's got a stalker
• This one goes out to you - not so much the people in the audience, but more the people in my mind
• Dumb things people wish they hadn't said
• What I hate about working on code with others
• Bumper stickers about kids who beat up honor students
• What the hell did Kennedy say about Jefferson?
• Parents who won't let their children play with toy guns
• You can tell a lot about a person from their e-mail address
• Girls who tell you they have a boyfriend
• I may be a trenchie bitch, but you forget we wear combat boots!
• But, my dear sir, if you educate them, they will no longer be Baptists
• Ground rush
• Things the IS people would love to say out loud
• Tell people they're beautiful and they will change the world
• Among strangers who will say so many things to fill our ears
• Drivers who think they are Neo
• A man who is about to become a wizard is a great source of trouble
• I'd ask, sure, I'd ask. But then, then you could say no.
• Pirates and ninjas: why they should be friends but can't be
• When you kill people they die
• She may be pretty and have more money than me but she doesn't write songs about you.
• Taking things at surface value
• Y2K from people who worked that night
• Getting over "Disco Sucks!"
• They Say That Hope is Happiness
• The Story of Two Sisters Who Were Jealous of Their Younger Sister
• How do cows get all their nutrients, when they only eat grass?
• Making the Movies VII Movie Stars Who Risk Their Lives for Realistic Films
• They do not know how immortal, but I know
• I hate Ronald Reagan, but I love He-Man
• "It takes people to win," says obscenely wealthy CEO
• Music need not be popular to be good
• People who use Windows
• People's secrets show in their eyes
• I fixed my body image issues by looking at people as if they were dogs
• Two people who are not touching
• When they say "Gotta have it!" they mean it!
• In God we trust? Who says?
• Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid To Ask)
• There is not much new to say about snow, or about broken love
• Boston sports fans and their teams: A brief but angsty perspective
• We enjoy a quiet but satisfying yuletide until people from the social services come to release us
• 90% of people think they are of above average intelligence
• Tough Beans they say (user)
• There's nothing more annoying than to try to rebel against someone who's totally supportive about whatever you want to do
• If we define things as real, they are real in their consequences
• How can I talk about love when the bacon is burned and the house is an absolute mess and the children are screaming their heads off and I'm going to miss my bus?
• Who are the people in your neighborhood?
• There were people on the Titanic who waved away the dessert trolley
• Kids are being trained to shoot people who chant in the forest
• How to get people to clean up their core dumps
• Famous people who can run a marathon
• More of The Story of Two Sisters Who Were Jealous of Their Younger Sister
• What loan words say about a society
• Bands Who Take Their Names from Eighteenth-century English Poetry and Prose

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