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I am eating a Twix bar which tried to kill me.

First, somehow, I got a concoction of chocolate and caramel up my nose. I don't really understand how. Seriously. I wish I knew. But does it matter? No, because the sugary mess seemed to have irritated my sinuses enough to give me a nose bleed.

I first blew my nose, which burned like hell. Out came a lovely mixture of caramel and blood. Not a pretty sight. Then I jammed some paper towels up my nose and, against my better judgment, continued eating my Twix.

Only to start choking on it five seconds later. GREAT. I started coughing profusely. Out came little chunks of crumbs and, oh yes, MORE BURNING.

Now I sit here, writing this node, hacking up Twix gack, with bloody paper towels up my nose and I wonder why I'm still eating the deadly candy...

Except that I am never one to resist a tasty, delectable treat, even when it tries to kill me.