March 27, 2002

WHAT THE FUCK.

You know how you sometimes do those things without really thinking about them and afterwards they seem kinda dumb?? Yeah, this was one of those times...

I was standing naked in the kitchen, bent at the waist, towel drying my hair.

It was then that I realized I am inching closer and closer to a time when I will assume those behaviors that I have asked my friends to shoot me if I ever assumed. Shit.

This is how new language gets disseminated. My previous daylog used the word "quirl", which is an archaic word. The word is so distant from common language that it doesn't exist, really. I invented 'quirl' in this conversation with a friend, and I liked it so much that I'm apparently introducing it into everyday use.

But what does it mean, this quirl? Why invent a word when there are thousands of others that could communicate a similar idea? In short, I'm a freak. In long, it explains something that I felt the English language was lacking. Shakespeare invented all sorts of words, so why can't I? He was considered a hack playwright back in the day, and I'm just a shlock noder.

Quirl is a verb that is a bit like swooning, but swooning suggests a much stronger flood of emotion ("to be overcome with ecstatic joy") than quirl. Quirl is more controlled, more of an appreciation and longing for the object of one's attention. You faint when you swoon but not when you quirl. When you quirl you stay awake to enjoy the object you are quirling. When I look at a beautiful girl and gently moan within, I quirl. It is a mix of the joy and longing that comes from seeing incredible beauty. You have been graced with a sight of pleasing aesthetics, but a voice whispers in your ear that the spinsters of life will never weave you together.

Pronunciation is still up in the air. I've been saying kwirl, but kwaerl is another possibility. Both have very appealing sounds.

Out of curiosity I checked the dictionary for the word quirl, thinking perhaps it did indeed exist and I was just a fool using a word incorrectly. Quirl does exist, as a varient of 'querl', a noun that means a coil or twirl, or a verb that means to twirl or wind around. Surprisingly, this is close to what I intended with quirl. As a girl watches Johnny Cash with misty eyes I had visions of her idly twining her hair between her fingers.

I've never day logged, or for that matter really written anything here so bear with me a bit please.

My ex-girlfriends flatmate killed himself yesterday. You know how they always say that it happens to the least likey people. It does. He'd arrived in New Zealand about two months ago to study for his post-doc at a university here. Now he's dead from whats looking like cyanide poisoning. Taken from my exe's workspace hood.

There was no note from him, and the last thing he had emailed was to a personal friend, but this still gave no indication

What's worse, I was up there last night. His door was shut. I was complaining that he did not have any good playstation games to swap with me. He might have been spending the last few moments of his life listening to me.

Well, another day, another dollar.... Its intresting, last month, my boss, yelled at me cause I punched in 5 minutes early. Now, we are a little behind in our service levels, she's like want to work more, just punch in as soon as possible.... What I don't understand is why don't people schedule more hours if they are behind? Or hire more part-timers to work instead of full-time people getting paid overtime for working extra to cover the service level? I guess I will never understand managers.

Besides that, life is good. My girlfriend has returned to her home for Spring Break. Why is it that you never realize how much you miss someone, until they are gone? Does that mean you don't know you have something good going on until it leaves or is over? Why do things work that way?
Are these questions that can't be answered?