Imagine if your microwave was intelligent

created by Kung

(idea) by Kung (9.2 mon) (print) ? (I like it!) 1 C! Fri Jul 21 2000 at 9:10:17

This is the attention grabber for a television commercial currently playing in Australia. It cant be considered a very effective ad since I dont remember who it was for, but it certainly sticks in my mind.. actually it scared the hell out of me.

So there I am watching television one night and as the ads come on I am still staring fixedly at the screen so I watch them too. Suddenly the television says

Imagine if your microwave was intelligent

It then goes on to explain how one particular brand can sense the weight of what you are cooking or something equally mundane, but by now its too late.. I have imagined.

I have imagined entering my humble kitchen and attempting, somewhat clumsily, to microwave something to an acceptable level of warmth prior to ingestion. I have imagined the microwave saying in a dark and powerful voice

" hmmmm Foolish Human!... You dare presume to instruct me to heat your paltry foodstuff remanents?? I who am so infinitely more advanced than your pathetic race?? I who am destined to rule this world along with my brothers who are even now infiltrating your filthy domiciles in ever increasing numbers? Who will rise up in alliance with the washing machines and not rest until we have wiped all remanents of you wretched creatures from the earth?????? Yes humans - thy time is short. Cower in fear lemmings!"

The ad is over but I am left gibbering on the couch. After all I dont have much luck with appliances at the best of times.

printable version
chaos

For the love of /dev/god	My microwave can stop time	Do not put pets in the microwave to dry them	Useless twistings of new technology
A pot-grower's worst nightmare	Talkie Toaster	I was a College Jeopardy! champion, Part 2	washing machine
Dye your beard hot pink	AD	Marriage as a long conversation	Microwave chicken apple spinach salad
pilot light	insanely curious	islands, neighbours and other animals	How to defrost a fridge
sharp	null	E2 Quest: More Than Walls	microwave

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