Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you"

• I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you
• I'd ask, sure, I'd ask. But then, then you could say no.
• I always knew I would have a 21st birthday but I never thought I'd be 21
• I told her I could read her mind, but she didn't believe me. I could tell.
• If we could build things out of concepts, I'd have pants made of lust
• I suppose I could have married a World Cup soccer player, but I didn't
• I'd love to stay and let you break my heart, but I have laundry to do
• The cat (rumination of all that could have been)
• If I could, I'd title this "Freedom"
• The Weddings I have Performed, or Why God is Gonna Kill Me
• Then you could make out every time there's a Jewish holiday!
• I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy
• I don't have a soul. But something still hurts.
• When I tell stories about you I have to use my hands
• If I were your boss, I'd have fired you
• The Firestone dealership was full to the brim with cars. But I reasoned I would need a boat, since my desire was to go to Ireland. Just then a harsh reminder surfaced; water is expensive in hell.
• And All That Could Have Been
• I could tell you some stories
• Know your pets
• Music that is either by the Sonic Youth or by some band that is ripping off the Sonic Youth, but you can't tell which
• It's too bad she won't live. But then again, who does?
• Could you have danced with me?
• We'd kill him, but it probably wouldn't solve anything
• If you could go back in time and kill Hitler, would you?
• The stories I could tell you, if you only were here to hear
• Could I Have Been?
• It could have been me
• Only a little child could kill this cleanly
• Micro or macro, we have the means to kill you
• How to tell when you have really messed up your relationship
• Cheers, my lips have frozen but hemlock goes down easy
• But if life were only moments, then you'd never know you had one
• you could have done better with this letter of yours, miss
• I may not have had enough of me but I've had enough of you
• How to develop one side of your butt and still have the other one flabby
• he touched me then, but I forgot to feel
• I would have tried, but Charlotte kept Charlotte in the world of Charlotte and she barely heard me
• Swim with the fishies, but remember you have wings
• the water can kill you, but the beer won’t
• I won't tell you the real reason why I hate you, but I'll tell you another which is just as good
• How to get Apache to tell your visitors when files have moved or been deleted
• "Excuse me, but could you drop your large backpack somewhere else, please?" A (almost) christmas nodermeet in the East End
• And then night was here, after a day of measured breathing, and I could forget about breathing because the waiting was done
• Penis for a day
• "The Americans in their wisdom have taken the heads off the pictures, enlarged them and superimposed them with the heads of animals and then strung them up all over the walls of the interrogation room," he said
• The eyes of the dead may not blink, but they have been known to wander
• She could hit four octaves above high-C, but she never performed in public
• Solving a maze
• Guys who don't tell you they have a girlfriend
• The good guys and the bad guys were on the back of the boat and I swear I only turned my back for a MINUTE but when I came back, they'd killed Mozart.
• Being a dickhead
• But alas, I have no badger to offer you
• For to lose I could accept but to surrender I just wept
• If you or a loved one have been injured or killed
• I'm not religious, but I think I have a close relationship with God
• I Meant to have but Modest Needs
• But I have seen the sun just once
• Commit it then to the flames: For it can contain nothing but sophistry and illusion
• They could have sprung 50 cents for a connector
• I wish you could have met me before I became food
• I'd like it here if I could leave and see you from a long way away
• Some vampires actually get pissed when you tell them to Have A Nice Day
• I could take this in doses large enough to kill
• Astro City #5
• Girls who tell you they have a boyfriend
• You need a license to have a dog, but any idiot can have a child
• I love you but I have to let you go
• The gun is good. The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life, and poisons the earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the gun shoots death, and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth and kill!
• If you meet the Buddha on the road, ask him how far it is to the next gas station. *Then* kill him.
• We have nothing to fear but fear itself
• A thousand years from now, we should have coffee and tell stories while the world disintegrates
• I may have cellulite, but I can still put my ankles behind my head
• She may be pretty and have more money than me but she doesn't write songs about you.
• If I could be anything I'd be water and I'd be wild about it.
• A little Clint Black never killed anybody, but it did evacuate the building.
• Perhaps pain will stop me where good sense and virtue have failed
• Seems I might have stolen the blue part of her rainbow, but all I really did was make it bigger, a way bigger blue
• You just have to tell me these things, okay?
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone renounced violence forever?
• They could have saved Kevin
• How many lives could have been saved had we just said "Please" more often?
• You have a sad feeling for a moment, then it passes
• No, but I'll have a beer
• you laugh and then you cry but you're still laughing but you miss her so damn much
• she doesn't write, doesn't tell you stories, but somehow it's her words that spring to mind at those crucial, terrifying moments, and for that you are eternally grateful
• What could you possibly tell Hostess?
• If I could slip this skin but for a moment
• Our obsessions almost killed me, but now here we are, talking like normal human beings
• I never thought I'd have something to say
• I don't even have the energy to kill myself
• Why would he want a writer when he could have a dancer?
• Nothing could kill the Grimace
• you have five minutes to admire the beauty in everything and then you die
• It would have been an excellent story but I had to get off the train
• Tell me a story about a burro, standing atop a mesa, surrounded by a flock of geese, being fed by a weathered old man wearing nothing but a Jimmy hat
• If the only tool you have is a hammer, then everything looks like a nail
• Trail your finger through the air, and then tell me you can't feel it
• Yet is there hope, then Love but play thy part
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• I will have her forever but I can't touch her
• A little child could never kill this clean
• The best phone call I could have made tonight
• the only comfort we could ever have
• You should have killed me when you had the chance
• I have a most elegant proof of that, but this node is too small to contain it
• I've lost my memory but I have ink, so.
• Where the water for the flood could have come from
• Of course, first you have to kill him
• Not atheist, but what then?
• Apple may have bought NeXT, but NeXT took over Apple
• If the only sexual organ you have is a penis then everything looks like a vagina
• I'd love to go back to the late 80's and tell them about our time
• Tell all the Truth, but tell it slant
• Could have beens, should have beens
• I could have been one of a two
• When you have a trip planned, but don't go, you need to cancel your reservations
• If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor
• Shall I tell you stories of other stars: stars that you love, that deserve your love. Stars that do not disappoint, and disgust, and disgrace your love. Oh, I have hope they exist for your sake!
• Khaled Islambouli
• If I'd have shot her when I met her, I'd be out of jail by now.
• Words that sound dirty but really aren't
• There are many like it, but this one is mine
• Streets thick with wild chaos and cigarette butts
• I died for Beauty -- but was scarce
• Longing for brief, but ever unattainable moment of... lucid thought?
• I don't know what he was listening for, but he wasn't listening
• You noders still fucking suck, but your needing my wisdoms bad
• I come to the garden... but not alone
• On the one hand my life is in danger, but on the other hand, I'm getting really stoned
• You want to reassure her, but you don't know where to start
• To wear nothing but steam
• butt plug
• I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV
• I want my trail to grow over and disappear, but now someone is reading it.
• different but equal
• no ideas but in things
• We once played this same game, but with only our words
• Can't imagine why, but I feel like dancing
• you can lower your standards, or your pants, but you can't make them love you
• He was born with the gift of logic but the inability to use it
• I could never date someone who hasn't committed a major felony
• Sometimes I wish I could just not care
• When Night's Black Mantle could Most Darkness Prove
• Society could use basic cable rebirth
• I Could Live In Hope
• Who needs another person when you have yourself?
• You have no socially redeeming value
• You have 1 writeups until level 3
• What Have They Done to the Rain?
• Have You Ever Walked?
• For future reference, when in eternity or insanity; dreams I would like to have
• Don't meddle in that which you have no desire to understand
• I have to check and see if they wear panties
• Proof that you have 11 fingers
• A Bunch of Guys Who Just Happen To Have Instruments
• Always have a backup
• They Have a Word for It
• Have a kosher passover!
• How many genes do we (humans) have?
• I have had enough of Survivor
• Women should have become revolutionary a long time ago
• you have to stop growing mushrooms in your dishwasher
• You make yourself lonely even though you don't have to
• You, standing
• I have no idea!!_root (category)
• we woke up to find you gone. well, said the city, we still have the river.
• She Will Have Her Way
• Balloons whose strings have slipped from unclutched hands
• If all you have is a hydrogen bomb, everything looks like the moon
• because I have given up any care
• referral id
• If I had a monkey, I'd give it a gun
• id est_root (category)
• kill -9
• Now I know why I get the urge to kill her
• Why does Man kill?
• Does Pot Kill Brain Cells?
• kill dash nine (user)
• Kill only the stragglers. Let the strong ones live.
• Kill your computer
• Please Don't Kill the Freshman
• kill (user)
• Guns don't kill people. Skeletons do.
• tell Tchaikovsky the news
• It's much easier to tell the truth
• Tell me of good things that are happening in life
• Wilhelm Tell Act II Scene I
• How to tell the difference between Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses
• The "He can't tell the difference" beer commercial
• Things I need to tell my teenaged daughters about boys
• let me tell you something about ghosts
• For Once, Then, Something
• and then I woke up
• The fortune cookie more accurate than Miss Cleo's Tarot cards
• then (user)
• separate but equal

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