The following is an aggregation of a number of common (and a few less common) Finnish proverbs.

• You always lose.
  Aina häviää.
• Piss without farting, die without fucking.
  Joka pieremättä kusee, se naimatta kuolee.
• If vodka, tar and sauna don't help, the disease leads to death.
  Jossei viina, terva tai sauna auta, on tauti kuolemaks.
• Hurry, and you'll get only shithead kids.
  Kiirehtimällä tulee vain kusipäisiä mukuloita.
• The fate of the Gypsy's horse.
  Kävi kuin mustalaisen hevoselle.
• The poor can't afford to buy cheap.
  Köyhällä ei ole varaa halpaan.
• A month from a skylark, a half from a finch, a little from a wagtail and not a day from a swallow.
  Kuu kiurusta kesään, puoli kuuta peipposesta, västäräkistä vähäsen, pääskysestä ei päivääkään.
• Even a pigeon has a pussy
  Pillu se on pulullakin.
• Siberia will teach.
  Siperia opettaa.
• Works like the train toilet.
  Toimii kuin junan vessa.
• It is hard for thee to kick against the pricks.
  Työläs on sinun potkia tutkainta vastaan.
• Water is the oldest medicine.
  Vesi vanhin voitehista.
• Pissed off like a little squirrel with a frozen pine cone.
  Vituttaa kuin pikku oravaa kun käpy on jäässä.
• Pride goes before the fall.
  Ylpeys käy lankeamuksen edellä.

If you think many of these sound depressing or fatalistic, you're absolutely right. After all, these were created by peasants living in a country ruled alternatively by tsars and Swedish lords where the cold, bitter winter lasts 9 months, famine and pestilence knocked on doors yearly and even the religion is unforgiving.

The pedant will probably also notice that a few of the sayings above aren't true proscriptive proverbs but merely metaphors, mutta hey, resistance is useless.

Feel free to /msg me any ideas for worthwhile additions.