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body count

created by dannye

(idea) by dannye (43 s) (print)   ?   I like it! Wed Feb 16 2000 at 3:09:00


Whenever there's a disaster, this is what George Carlin wishes for more of. "What, only 412 died in that fuckin' earthquake? Can't we get that up to at least a thousand? C'mon, guys; dig deeper!"

If you're a fan of Carlin (the original Hippy Dippy Weather Man), you will likely find this amusing. If you're a Unitarian, you might be offended.


(thing) by ToasterLeavings (23.4 hr) (print)   ?   1 C! I like it! Mon Jun 19 2000 at 12:05:16

Thrashy album vehicle for Ice-T's band of the same name. Hideously un-PC, which is exactly the required prescription medicine from time to time. This album represents the most frequent use of 'muthafucka' that I've ever come across. I'm not going to lyric node every song just yet (if at all), as you *just hafta* listen to this one. I will present some flavour. Note: I'm pretty PC as spiteful bastards go...I don't scream out "show us your tits" at semi-random intervals, nor do I randomly shoot people in the street. I do however really like this album.

Tracks:

  • 1. Smoked Pork (:47)

    Conversational snippet - Ice-T and a Cop exchange pleasantries. Ice-T shoots cop three times (assuming he didn't miss, in which case Ice-T shot at cop three times ... I'm guessing from the title that he was on target).

  • 2. Body Count's In The House (3:24)

    Predominantly an introduction to the band members type spiel "..on the drums I got the one and only Beatmaster B, Muthafucka". By the end of the track, we are left believing in no uncertain terms, that Body Count is most definitely in the muthafuckin' house. 'BC' is introduced as an acronym for the band.

  • 3. Now Sports (:05)

    A mock sound bite featuring Ice-T, enlarging his repetoire to include Sportscaster.

  • 4. Body Count (5:17)

    Commentary on life in South-Central Los Angeles, where as opposed to the Cosby Show...

    "shit ain't like that, it's real fucked up"
    I'm not sure, but in two sections it appears that Ice-T rejects in no uncertain terms the mantle of leader
    Petitioners: "Tell us what to do"
    Ice-T: "Fuck You"
    :repeat:

    ... but I'm really not sure about that part. In any case, we get the line

    "don't you hear the guns you stupid dumb dick-suckin' bum politician"
    ... which has a nice rhythm.

  • 5. A Statistic (:05)

    Just that: "At this moment there are more black males in prison, than in college." Circa 1991.

  • 6. Bowels of the Devil (3:43)

    A commentary on prison life

    "let me tell you what that muthafucka eats ...his stomach filled with homeboys, guts made outta steel and concrete"
    A cautionary tone is definitely intended
    "listen close 'cause I been there before....and you don't wanna die there, they call it going out the backdoor".

  • 7. The Real Problem (:11)

    Another spoken word snippet implying the real motivation behind the whole music censorship thing is

    "..the fear of the white girl falling in love with the black man"

  • 8. KKK Bitch (2:52)

    Now, most people are really not that into KKK bitches, but this song is nevertheless relentlessly and unashamedly designed to not go down well in the Women's Room at your local university/college. Ice-T's man 'Moose Man' gets it on with Tipper Gore's two twelve year old nieces, and there's even a bit of backdoor action involving Ice-T and the daughter of a Grand Wizard in the midst of a KKK rally. Skinheads, Nazis, Oh my!

    "If you're from Mars, and you got a pussy, we will fuck you"
    That whole Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus crap is not going to hold Ice-T back!

  • 9. C Note (1:35)

    Fairly lame instrumental guitar solo type track. I generally just skip it.

  • 10. Voodoo (5:00)

    Still sitting squarely in the 'not very good' zone of the album, we have this cautionary tale about keeping clear of Voodoo. Ice-T gets to utilize his screaming skills a bit, as an old woman does nasty things to an Ice-T doll (did they ever sell many of those? Mattel was it?). Another skipworthy track.

  • 11. The Winner Loses (6:31)

    Crap ballady crap about the perils of cocaine use. Needs about 7000% more thrashiness, and just fuck off with those shitful lame backing vocals. Easily the worst track on the album. I listened to it the first time I played the album, and for the second time just now, so I could describe the hideousness of it all.

  • 12. There Goes The Neigbourhood (5:50)

    Awwww yeah. Body Count is back in the muthafuckin' house, we outta the zone'o'crap now. Features Ice-T as the poor whiney white guy complaining about the black guys taking his music style, and indeed his girl.

    "here comes them fuckin' niggers, in their fancy cars...."
    "who gave them fuckin' niggers those rock guitars.."
    Ice-T ain't having any of that type of whining though (where the hell is he in the Chatterbox when you need him?):
    "and those of you who don't like it, can suck my mutha-fuckin' dick".
  • 13. Oprah (:7)

    Soundbite: Oprah (I'm guessing it's really Ice-T) discusses male promiscuity...a set-up for the next track.

  • 14. Evil Dick (3:58)

    Well, I hope they're still holding their hands over their bleeding ears back at the women's centre, because this track is one they probably want to miss (although some people have elevated outrage to the status of art form). A fairly graphic description of promiscuity as a direct and personal initiative of the male member.

    "late at night, Evil Dick he wakes me up, he says don't sleep alone, don't sleep alone, don't sleep alone, don't sleep alone."

    Now, I'm not advocating anything, but would the following line work?

    "It wasn't me baby it was that muthafucka Evil Dick!"

    Well, Ice-T's going to give it a go! Goes on to feature simulated (I presume) sex set to thrash. Intriguing.

  • 15. Body Count Anthem (2:46)

    Pretty straight forward thumpy track with a nice thrashy section in the middle. Hope you have long hair..you need it for full effect. Much "BC..BC..BC", puncuated by "Body Count....Muthafucka" in terms of lyrics.

  • 16. Momma's Gotta Die Tonight (6:12)

    Umm...really fucking disturbing would be a less than adequate destription of this little 'ode to mothers'. I'm not *entirely* sure, but I'm pretty confident that in a list of things appreciated by mothers, the following aren't included:

  • cover in lighter fluid and ignite.
  • hit with baseball bat.
  • dismember with carving knife.
  • put in garbage bags, and post to various localities.
  • Oh well, she was racist after all. So, if you have racist relatives, take Ice-T's advice, either:

    "Look 'em in the face and tell 'em to suck ya dick....or do what Body Count does"

    ...note: Body Count apparently does the things in the list. *Please* avoid doing those things.

    1992 Sire Records


  • (log) by borgo (2.1 d) (print)   ?   13 C!s I like it! Thu Apr 12 2007 at 19:42:22

    "We don't do body counts" General Tommy Franks

    Of course the good General was referring to the number of Iraqi Army and insurgents that have been killed as a result of the fighting going on over in Iraq. As of this writing, conservative estimates put the number of civilian deaths anywhere between sixty and seventy thousand with some estimates going upwards of six hundred fifty thousand. The number of refugees who have fled their homes is estimated to be over seven hundred and fifty thousand with more and more people leaving everyday.

    With all this talk of a troop surge geared to curb the violence going on in and around Baghdad, I thought it might be interesting to take a look at the number of Americans killed and wounded thus far in the fighting along with some quotes by various Administration officials and other such notables about the conduct of the war.

    "It's hard to conceive that it would take more forces to provide stability in post-Saddam Iraq than it would take to conduct the war itself and to secure the surrender of Saddam's security forces and his army. Hard to imagine." -Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz in front of the House Budget Committee right before the start of the war.

    2003

    March, - 81 dead, 202 wounded

    "My belief is we will, in fact, be greeted as liberators." -Vice President Dick Cheney, March 16, 2003

    April - 74 dead, 340 wounded

    "Freedom's untidy, and free people are free to make mistakes and commit crimes and do bad things." -Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld on looting in Iraq after the U.S. invasion, adding "stuff happens," April 11, 2003

    May - 37 dead, 55 wounded

    "Major combat operations in Iraq have ended" - President George W. Bush - May 2, 2003

    June- 30 dead, 147 wounded

    "We found the weapons of mass destruction." -President Bush, in an interview with Polish television

    July - 48 dead, 226 wounded

    "My answer is bring 'em on." --President George W. Bush,

    August -35 dead, 181 wounded,

    "Turns out this is our hundredth day since major military operations have ended, ended in Iraq. And since then, we've made good progress. Iraq is more secure." President George W. Bush from his Crawford, Texas ranch

    September - 31 dead, 247 wounded

    "Isn't it amazing what's been accomplished in four-and-a-half months? We've gone from 0 to 55,000 Iraqis that are now providing for their own security: Policemen, border guards, site protection, civil defense, Army." Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld on an interview with Jim Lehrer, September 8, 2003.

    October - 44 dead, 413 wounded

    "Be glad of the good news: America is mired in the swamps of the Tigris and Euphrates." Osama bin Laden, October 8, 2003

    November - 82 dead, 336 wounded

    "In Iraq, a ruthless dictator cultivated weapons of mass destruction and the means to deliver them. He gave support to terrorists, had an established relationship with al Qaeda, and his regime is no more." -Vice President Dick Cheney, Nov. 7, 2003

    December - 40 dead, 261 wounded

    "Ladies and gentlemen, we got him," US administrator Paul Bremer on the capture of Saddam Hussein.

    2004

    January - 47 dead, 188 wounded

    "Already, the Kay Report identified dozens of weapons of mass destruction-related program activities and significant amounts of equipment that Iraq concealed from the United Nations." -President Bush, 2004 State of the Union Address

    February - 20 dead, 150 wounded

    "You know, I'm not going to comment on that." - President George W. Bush to NBC's Tim Russert on Meet the Press in response to Mr. Russert's question on the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden - February 8, 2004

    March - 52 dead, 324 wounded

    "Those weapons of mass destruction have got to be somewhere!" --President Bush, joking about his administration's failure to find WMDs in Iraq as he narrated a comic slideshow during the Radio & TV Correspondents' Association dinner, March 25, 2004

    April - 135 dead, 1214 wounded

    "It's not a civil war; it's not a popular uprising. Most of Iraq is relatively stable." - President George W. Bush in one of his rare press conferences, April 13, 2004

    May - 80 dead. 759 wounded

    Abu Ghraib Prison abuse scandal hits the news, enough said.

    June - 42 dead, 588 wounded

    "Go fuck yourself." -Vice President Dick Cheney to Sen. Patrick Leahy, during an angry exchange on the Senate floor about profiteering by Halliburton, June 25, 2004

    July - 54 dead, 552 wounded

    "Give me a chance to be your president and America will be safer and stronger and better." --Still-President George W. Bush, Marquette, Michigan, July 13, 2004

    August - 66 dead, 894 wounded

    "Had we to do it over again, we would look at the consequences of catastrophic success, being so successful so fast that an enemy that should have surrendered or been done in escaped and lived to fight another day." --President Bush, telling Time magazine that he underestimated the Iraqi resistance, Aug. 2004

    September - 80 dead, 708 wounded

    "The enemy understands a free Iraq will be a major defeat in their ideology of hatred. That's why they're fighting so vociferously." --George W. Bush, first presidential debate, Coral Gables, Fla., Sept. 30, 2004

    October - 64 dead, 650 wounded

    "The truth of that matter is, if you listen carefully, Saddam would still be in power if he were the president of the United States, and the world would be a lot better off." --George W. Bush, second presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004

    November - 137 dead, 1431 wounded

    "I always jest to people, the Oval Office is the kind of place where people stand outside, they're getting ready to come in and tell me what for, and they walk in and get overwhelmed in the atmosphere, and they say, man, you're looking pretty." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Nov. 4, 2004

    December - 72 dead, 544 wounded

    "As you know, you go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time." --Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld

    2005

    January - 107 dead, 497 wounded

    "Because he's hiding." --George W. Bush, responding to a reporter who asked why Osama bin Laden had not been caught, aboard Air Force One, Jan. 14, 2005

    February - 58 dead, 415 wounded

    "I am not going to give you a number for it because it's not my business to do intelligent work." --Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, asked to estimate the number of Iraqi insurgents while testifying before Congress, Feb. 16, 2005

    March - 35 dead, 371 wounded

    "In this job you've got a lot on your plate on a regular basis; you don't have much time to sit around and wander, lonely, in the Oval Office, kind of asking different portraits, 'How do you think my standing will be?'" --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., March 16, 2005

    April - 52 dead, 596 wounded

    "Well, we've made the decision to defeat the terrorists abroad so we don't have to face them here at home. And when you engage the terrorists abroad, it causes activity and action." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 28, 2005

    May - 80 dead, 575 wounded

    "See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda." --George W. Bush, Greece, N.Y., May 24, 2005

    June - 78 dead, 512 wounded

    "I think they're in the last throes, if you will, of the insurgency." --Vice President Dick Cheney

    July - 54 dead, 477 wounded

    "The best place for the facts to be done is by somebody who's spending time investigating it." --George W. Bush, on the probe into how CIA agent Valerie Plame's identity was leaked, Washington D.C., July 18, 2005

    August - 85 dead, 541 wounded

    "It's totally wiped out. ... It's devastating, it's got to be doubly devastating on the ground." --George W. Bush, turning to his aides while surveying Hurricane Katrina flood damage from Air Force One , Aug. 31, 2005

    September - 49 dead, 545 wounded

    "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job." --George W. Bush, to FEMA director Michael Brown, who resigned 10 days later amid criticism over his job performance, Mobile, Ala., Sept. 2, 2005

    October - 96 dead, 605 wounded

    "Bin Laden says his own role is to tell Muslims, quote, 'what is good for them and what is not.'" --George W. Bush, Washington D.C., Oct. 6, 2005

    November - 84 dead, 400 wounded

    "Wow! Brazil is big." --George W. Bush, after being shown a map of Brazil by Brazilian president Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva, Brasilia, Brazil, Nov. 6, 2005

    December - 68 dead, 413 wounded

    "I think we are welcomed. But it was not a peaceful welcome." --George W. Bush, defending Vice President Dick Cheney's pre-war assertion that the United States would be welcomed in Iraq as liberators, NBC Nightly News interview, Dec. 12, 2005

    2006

    January - 62 dead, 289 wounded

    "As you can possibly see, I have an injury myself -- not here at the hospital, but in combat with a cedar. I eventually won. The cedar gave me a little scratch. As a matter of fact, the Colonel asked if I needed first aid when she first saw me. I was able to avoid any major surgical operations here, but thanks for your compassion, Colonel." --George W. Bush, after visiting with wounded veterans from the Amputee Care Center of Brooke Army Medical Center, San Antonio, Texas, Jan. 1, 2006

    February - 55 dead, 342 wounded

    "People don't need to worry about security. This deal wouldn't go forward if we were concerned about the security for the United States of America." --George W. Bush, on the deal to hand over U.S. port security to a company operated by the United Arab Emirates, Washington, D.C., Feb. 23, 2006

    March - 31 dead, 496 wounded

    "After the bombing, most Iraqis saw what the perpetuators of this attack were trying to do." --George W. Bush, on the bombing of the Golden Mosque of Samarra in Iraq, March 13, 2006, Washington, D.C.

    April - 76 dead, 433 wounded

    "I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the Secretary of Defense." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C. April 18, 2006

    May - 69 dead, 442 wounded

    "Trying to stop suiciders -- which we're doing a pretty good job of on occasion -- is difficult to do. And what the Iraqis are going to have to eventually do is convince those who are conducting suiciders who are not inspired by Al Qaeda, for example, to realize there's a peaceful tomorrow." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 24, 2006

    June - 61 dead, 459 wounded

    "I think -- tide turning -- see, as I remember -- I was raised in the desert, but tides kind of -- it's easy to see a tide turn -- did I say those words?" --George W. Bush, asked if the tide was turning in Iraq, Washington, D.C., June 14, 2006

    July - 43 dead, 524 wounded

    "See, the irony is that what they need to do is get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit, and it's over." --George W. Bush, chomping on a dinner roll while talking about the Middle East crisis with British Prime Minister Tony Blair at the G8 summit, St. Petersburg, Russia, July 17, 2006

    August - 65 dead, 586 wounded

    "I would guess, I would surmise that some of the more spectacular bombings are done by al Qaeda suiciders." --George W. Bush, on violence in Iraq, Washington, D.C., Aug. 21, 2006

    September - 72 dead, 791 wounded

    "You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror." --George W. Bush, interview with CBS News' Katie Couric, Sept. 6, 2006

    October - 106 dead, 780 wounded

    "We're never been stay the course, George." --George W. Bush, attempting to distance himself from what has been his main strategy in Iraq for the last three years, interview with ABC's George Stephanopoulos, Oct. 22, 2006

    November - 70 dead, 548 wounded

    "Anybody who is in a position to serve this country ought to understand the consequences of words." --George W. Bush, interview with Rush Limbaugh, Nov. 1, 2006

    December - 112 dead, 699 wounded

    "It's bad in Iraq. Does that help?" --George W. Bush, after being asked by the BBC's political editor Nick Robinson about whether he's in denial about Iraq, Washington, D.C., Dec. 7, 2006

    2007

    January - 83 dead, 635 wounded

    "I think that the vice president is a person reflecting a half-glass-full mentality." --George W. Bush, interview on National Public Radio, Jan. 29, 2007

    February - 80 dead, 505 wounded

    "And there is distrust in Washington. I am surprised, frankly, at the amount of distrust that exists in this town. And I'm sorry it's the case, and I'll work hard to try to elevate it." --George W. Bush, interview on National Public Radio, Jan. 29, 2007

    March - 81 dead, 428 wounded

    "Some call this civil war; others call it emergency -- I call it pure evil." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., March 28, 2007

    April - 104 dead, 634 wounded

    "And my concern, David, is several." --George W. Bush, to NBC's David Gregory, Washington, D.C., April 3, 2007

    "The solution to Iraq -- an Iraq that can govern itself, sustain itself and defend itself -- is more than a military mission. Precisely the reason why I sent more troops into Baghdad." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 3, 2007

    May - 131, dead, 652, wounded

    "The question is, who ought to make that decision? The Congress or the commanders? And as you know, my position is clear -- I'm a commander guy." --George W. Bush, who apparently is no longer "The Decider," Washington, D.C., May 2, 2007

    June 101 dead, 730 wounded

    "I've heard he's been called Bush's poodle. He's bigger than that." --George W. Bush, on former British Prime Minister Tony Blair, as quoted by the Sun newspaper, June 27, 2007

    July 80 dead, 614 wounded

    "You know, I guess I'm like any other political figure: Everybody wants to be loved." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., July 13, 2007

    August 84 dead, 563 wounded

    "You see Sunnis who once fought side by side with al Qaeda against coalition troops now fighting side by side with coalition troops against al Qaeda,"--George W. Bush during his seven hour visit to Iraq, September 3, 2007

    September 62 dead, 358 wounded

    "We're kicking ass." --George W. Bush, on the security situation in Iraq, to Australian Deputy Prime Minister Mark Vaile, Sydney, Australia, Sept. 5, 2007

    "I heard somebody say, 'Where's Nelson Mandela?' Well, Mandela's dead. Because Saddam killed all the Mandelas." --George W. Bush, on the former South African president, who is still very much alive, Washington, D.C., Sept. 20, 2007

    October 38 dead, 296 wounded

    "I fully understand those who say you can't win this thing militarily. That's exactly what the United States military says, that you can't win this military." --George W. Bush, on the need for political progress in Iraq, Washington, D.C., Oct. 17, 2007

    November 37 dead, 199 wounded

    "I think the "surge" is working." - Long time critic of the Iraq War, U. S Representative John Murtha.

    December 23 dead, 209 wounded

    "There's only three things he mentions in a sentence -- a noun, a verb, and 9/11." - Former Democratic Presidential candidate Senator Joseph Biden on current Republican Presidential hopeful Rudy Giuliani

    2008

    January 40 dead, 231 wounded

    "There is no doubt in my mind when history was written, the final page will say: Victory was achieved by the United States of America for the good of the world." --George W. Bush, addressing U.S. troops at Camp Arifjan in Kuwait, January 12, 2008

    February 29 dead, 215 wounded

    "That's interesting, I hadn't heard that." - President George W. Bush on the possibility that gas might hit $4.00 a gallon in the near future...

    March 36 dead, 230 wounded - *estimate

    "And so, General, I want to thank you for your service. And I appreciate the fact that you really snatched defeat out of the jaws of those who are trying to defeat us in Iraq." --George W. Bush, to Army Gen. Ray Odierno, Washington, D.C., March 3, 2008

    Somebody, anybody, please put an end to this....

    I'll keep this updated for as long as I have to, let's hope it won't be too much longer but I got a funny feeling it will..

    Source(s)

    http://icasualties.org/oif/
    http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/blbushisms.htm


    printable version
    chaos

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