I wonder what it would be like to be in the world with you
To smell the earth and scan the stars with you
To watch you walking from across the room, memorizing the lines that frame you in
Or to catch you in a ticklish moment where you can be a boy again,
soft and smooth.
I wonder if we were ever given the chance, if it would all
backfire and we'd sit there sullen,
yearning for the screen so swiftly pulled away
to once more conceal us.
I'd like to think we'd become connected and never want to let go;
I always hope for the painful loss of letting go than never wanting to be held.
So many ways I can see you, when I've been given none but these words
In sock feet on the sofa, reading a book, my head
a purring kitten in your lap
Some unspoken comfort, not always from touch, in sharing air
together in a closed room
A shy smile from the table as I wait in line for drinks
the way we sip our nights away inside each other's light
Or simply idle chatter building up in swells, cascading like a fountain
with lights at night for brilliance,
the fireworks of our conversation
dimming everything else
It is hard to have this and live
With a whole heart, dividing
Like cells, into forever
....written pre April of this year, and even though it's over, I am glad I did finally meet him and let him go...
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