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The Wergle Flomp contest requires an author to create the worst drivel-inspired poem they can partially abort onto paper. This was my entry (as submitted to Poetry.com):
With Certainty
My life is one big mess.
I ogle the closet, select a red dress.
My life lacks a certain certainty
I forgot, I stand when I pee.
I can't make up my mind.
At least I think I can't, and that's being kind
I like writing poems that rhyme.
If I don't, then I'll use a different word.
My work life is bruised like an orange.
I can't think of anything that rhymes with Orange.
I live in a cubicle writing fake press releases
Yes, I'd like some coffee, if you pleases.
I wish my love life was gold and silver.
Damn it, I can't think of anything that rhymes with 'Silver'.
Either.
Oh bother. There goes my meter.
I guess I can't write poetry
At least not without some certainty.
I'd wear that red dress to the Poetry Oscars.
Too bad I'm a hairy guy and only wear boxers.
Think you can do better (worse?)
http://www.winningwriters.com/contestflomp.htm
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