Everything2 Cool Archive

Bill Hicks (person)

2001-05-02T05:00:42Z

Track 16 of Hamell On Trial's 2000 album Choochtown:

I wish Bill Hicks was alive, I wish Bill Hicks had survived
I wish Bill Hicks was alive, I wish Bill Hicks had survived
But as Bill would be the first to answer
This is the real world, and he had cancer
I wish Bill Hicks was alive

And I would bring my friends to see Bill do brilliant comedy
Watch him needle an aristocrat
I wouldn't resurrect him only for that
I wish Bill Hicks was alive.

Spoken: The Devil call up to Heaven. Say, "Put me through to God."

God get on the phone, say "What?"

The Devil say, "You got Bill Hicks up there?"

God say "Yep. Sold out. Two weeks. Gabriel Arena."

The Devil say, "Can you get me tickets?"

God say, "Whoa-ho, they love him up there. They're bussin' em up from purgatory. ...

Amalric of Bena (person)

2008-05-11T11:15:17Z

French theologian
Died c.1204-1207

Amalric (French Amaury) of Bena was born in the latter part of the 12th century at Bena, a village in the diocese of Chartres. He taught philosophy and theology at the university of Paris and enjoyed a great reputation as a subtle dialectician; his lectures developing the philosophy of Aristotle attracted a large circle of hearers. In 1204 his doctrines were condemned by the university, and, on a personal appeal to Pope Innocent III, the sentence was ratified, Amalric being ordered to return to Paris and recant his errors. His death was caused, it is said, by grief at the humiliation to which he had been subjected. In 1209 ten of his followers were burnt before the gates of Paris, and Amalric's own body was exhumed and burnt and the ashes given to the winds. The doctrines of his followers, known as the Amalricians, were formally condemned by the fourth Lateran Council in 1215.

Amalric appears to...

Risk in the Roman law of sale (idea)

2008-05-12T12:26:02Z

Once parties have agreed to buy and sell, the question arises as to when the risk of damage, deterioration or destruction of the thing sold and bought passes from the seller to the buyer. As a starting point, the owner of the thing carries the risk of destruction or damage. In many instances, the thing will pass from the seller to the buyer immediately upon agreement being reached with no problem as to the risk and when it passes. However, there are circumstances in which a passage of time may seperate the point of reaching agreement (at which stage the obligations come into existence) from the moment of transfer of the thing. If something should happen to the thing in the mean time, who...

Violent pickup lines (idea)

2008-05-12T05:16:43Z

Today is Monday, "violent, sociopathic pickup line day!"

It's very easy to do. Almost as easy as being a surgeon. Thirty-five dollars and I will remove your fucking spleen and yes that is a threat to you personally.

Hey, babe, are those astronaut pants? No? Great, because I'm going to take you back to my place and explode you in a vacuum!
Immediately following her refusal, appear enraged and mutter something similar to, "whore doesn't know what she's missing," and make a signal to your friends to indicate that you're incapable of pursuing consensual relationships with women.

Hey, babe, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would make a shank out of it, later leaving your body in a ditch, waiting to be discovered and ignored by hikers decades later!

The more stains you have on your clothing, the...

Third Crusade (event)

2008-05-11T10:27:13Z

Conrad of Montferrat was, as much as any one man, responsible for the Third Crusade. Compelled to leave the court of Constantinople, which he had been serving, he had sailed for the Holy Land and reached Tyre about three weeks after the battle of Hattin. He had saved Tyre; and from it he sent his appeals to the West. Not the least effective of these appeals was a great poster which he had circulated in Europe, and which represented the Holy Sepulchre defiled by the horses of the Mahommedans. Meanwhile the papacy, as soon as the news reached Rome, despatched encyclicals throughout Europe; and soon a new Crusade was in full swing. But the Third Crusade, unlike the First, does not spring from the papacy, which was passing through one of its epochs of depression; it springs from the lay power, which, represented by the three strong monarchies of Germany, England and France, was at this time dominant in Europe. In Germany it was the solemn national diet of Mainz (Easter 1188) which "swore...

Kansas City Royals (thing)

2008-05-11T13:13:01Z

Major League Baseball franchise, currently a part of the Central Division of the American League.

The Royals were founded in 1969 as part of Major League Baseball's explosive growth period, when from 1962 to 1972 eight new teams were founded and four others changed locations (including two of the expansion teams). The Royals joined the newly created AL West for the 1969 season under the ownership of pharmaceutical magnate Ewing Kauffman.

The newly created expansion team started off as most expansion teams do, finishing below .500 for three of its first four seasons and never really rising from the middle of the pack. The early team featured young standout Lou Piniella, taken during the 1969 expansion draft by the Seattle Pilots, but traded to the Royals before the season began. "Sweet Lou" won the Rookie of the Year award in that first season, and, after playing four years with the Royals, was traded to the Yankees after 1973....

Risk in the Roman law of sale (idea)

2008-05-12T12:26:02Z

One no longer loves one's insight when one communicates it (idea)

2008-05-11T20:06:21Z

Insight is something very different to what we call knowledge. Knowledge concerns things that one can know for certain, such as the precise length of one's keyboard, whereas insight concerns matters that cannot be known for certain because they exist somehow behind or above the observed phenomena. Unless you are a scientist with a passion for learning the details of the physical world, almost everything that is interesting to think and talk about is in the realm of insight, not knowledge. In the realm of insight lie matters such as love, morality, meaning, beauty and God. One can never know anything about these things in the same way one can know the precise length of their keyboard, because one cannot observe them; yet one can feel them and intuit them. One rather has insight of them, an appreciation of their inward nature. Because one can never communicate this wholly to another person, it is necessarily a personal experience.

The problem arises when one attempts to communicate this...

catbox poetry (poetry)

2008-05-08T17:04:19Z

Found poetry? It's all found poetry, isn't it?

Here are three I "found" in this thing you call the catbox.

And yes, they're mostly about sex, but then we take our material as we find it, don't we?

 
  
     poetry is for perverts and Italians, but 
              Everybody loves poetry 
          if it's all lesbionic and stuff 
  
               tits -- 
       boobies -- 
          sex in public? 
  
      with an all-girl punk band or something 
               you could just hear heavy breathing
                                    and wet slapping sounds,
  
     who cares what a woman's ...

Violent pickup lines (idea)

2008-05-12T05:16:43Z

Today is Monday, "violent, sociopathic pickup line day!"

It's very easy to do. Almost as easy as being a surgeon. Thirty-five dollars and I will remove your fucking spleen and yes that is a threat to you personally.

Pornology (essay)

2008-05-11T19:19:51Z

Pornology: a cautionary tale about the dangers of believing everything you read on web.

There is no such word as pornology, and it certainly does not mean the knowledge, or study of apples or fruits.

Let me back up a little here.

Every now and then AspieMum and myself take part in quiz nights as fund raising efforts for various schools. Last night we went to one with some friends of ours. We tend to do quite well in the early rounds, but then, as alcohol takes its toll, our performance fades in the second half. We're not really too professional at this: we just prefer to have a good time with our friends.

To cut to the chase, in one of the later rounds, the question came up, What is the meaning of the word, 'Pornology'?

None of us had any idea. Now while we are amateurs at quiz nights, I don't feel it immodest to say that between us we have a better-than-average vocabulary and know most...

One no longer loves one's insight when one communicates it (idea)

2008-05-11T20:06:21Z

The problem arises when one attempts to communicate this...

UK Local Elections 2008 (event)

2008-05-11T14:15:50Z

Within the United Kingdom the elections for various local authorities take place on the first Thursday in May every year, although each year a different mix of seats comes up for election. As far as the 2008 elections were concerned there were 4,059 seats at stake in 159 local councils across England and Wales, representing seats that had last been contested in 2004, although there was also some new unitary authorities in Northumberland, County Durham, Cheshire East, Cheshire West and Chester up for grabs. Back in 2004, Labour didn't do that well, and so the Conservatives were downplaying expectations this time round. Whilst they expressed the hope they might win control of Bury, they weren't expecting great things, and the word from the Conservative Party HQ was that they might win around eighty seats and that anything more was a bonus. Similarly the word from the Labour Party was they might lose as many as two hundred seats, and that anything less should be seen as a sign of recovery....

Prepare me a ship of which the half-rotten timbers shall be painted black, let the sails be in rags, and the sailors infirm and sickly (idea)

2001-11-26T19:31:13Z

Two young men in a slate-gray city. One cast away from the orphanage at sixteen like in Dickens, working in anonymous stores and kitchens, itinerant. Literate enough to dream of seeing the world's ten-thousand more beautiful places, poor and realistic enough to know he never will. The other having near-unimaginable wealth before he has finished college, stratosphere-class parents dead from too much coughing and not enough breathing. His world is one where millionaires are still rare, and worthwhile lives spent without a family are even more so. They are both alone.

Both are also blown non-rhythmically around the city by its innate social convection currents. Brandon, the orphan, from a brick tenement into one of the many working districts of the city, then back. Lawrence, the millionaire, from a (in his eyes) modest row-house to the university he had long ago...

serene. She sips her tea (idea)

2002-04-23T23:55:26Z

She sits in the sunlight
avoiding shadows
beneath wide canvas umbrellas,
ice cubes tinkling against glass

eyes closed, cheeks raised
to the warmth of Sol.
Soft breeze reaches out
gently caressing copper strands

from time to time
her lids flash open
she pens words-hurriedly
on scrap paper
eyes afire

I wonder...
is she translating moments
or transcribing love letters from Helios

One no longer loves one's insight when one communicates it (idea)

2008-05-11T20:06:21Z

The problem arises when one attempts to communicate this...

Fifty dollar freedom (idea)

2008-05-10T16:12:34Z

My sister and I don't fight about everything. She's two years younger than I am and she's been a pain in my ass since the day she was born. Growing up we were the same height and to make matters worse our grandmothers bought us matching outfits every Christmas and Easter. It was probably the only thing those two women ever agreed about. They're just like Sara and I.

I don't remember the exact calendar date but I still remember the incident. Sara and I were sitting on the couch and fighting about who was going to hold our brother. This was right after my sister Becky's birthday so he was three months old. Everyone wanted to hold him because he was so sweet and cute. Just a blonde haired, blue eyed bundle of pure joy. It was a cinch that he wasn't related to any of the...

Sparrow-mumbling (idea)

2008-05-08T18:26:38Z

The Oxford English Dictionary defines sparrow-mumbling as "the action of holding a cock-sparrow's wing in the mouth, and attempting to draw in the head by movement of the lips", and according to Erastus Cornelius Benedict writing in 1860, it was once, together with bear-baiting and dog-fighting, one of "the kindred manly sports of the lower classes". Certainly Francis Grose, author of the Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, felt obliged to devote the whole of his definition of the word sparrow to a description of the practice.

According to Grose it was;

a cruel sport frequently practised at wakes and fairs: for a small premium, a booby having his hands tied behind him, has the wing of a cock sparrow put into his mouth: with this hold, without any other assistance than the motion of his lips, he is to get the sparrow's head into his mouth: on attempting to do it, the bird defends itself surprisingly, frequently pecking the mumbler till his...

horror vacui (idea)

2005-11-13T22:46:19Z

It's curious the way emptiness can
harden, acquiring the form and function
of a shapely hole that follows you, dutiful,
as though the flare of longing had left
an afterburn at the edge of the retina,
just outside the range of focus.
Yet if you glance aside, it leads your gaze.

I'm curious, so I trail my fingertips
over the texture of a ripened
nothing. The sensation is lukewarm,
with none of the heat that travels skin to skin,
or the cool that fills a pause
between ...

Because: Context is not important. Because: My life is one long series of contexts. (place)

2003-01-09T07:55:39Z

The year I turned seven we had this gate, between the fenced back yard and open front yard, a beautiful iron lattice gate, about eight inches of the ground. And the yard was full of plum trees, different kinds of plum trees, and for a couple of years our sandwiches were slathered with plum jam.

And the night before I turned seven I found a couple of holes in the lattice work and hooked my feet into them, rocked and rocked and rocked and watched the night sky.

I made a wish. I am not sure I remember it. But I think it came true.

II.

Sometimes, I would beat myself up for living too easily in my regrets or in my fantasies, and never, ever, ever in the here and now.

And later I would realize that longing is built into my nature. It's as natural as fucking. As natural as eating. The once and then and the someday maybe and the here and now coexist quite easily in the mammalian consiousness. And ...

2 Peter 1 (thing)

2001-06-29T08:46:51Z

back to the King James Bible | Next Chapter

1:1 Simon Peter, a servant and an apostle of Jesus Christ, to them that have obtained like precious faith with us through the righteousness of God and our Saviour Jesus Christ: 1:2 Grace and peace be multiplied unto you through the knowledge of God, and of Jesus our Lord, 1:3 According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue: 1:4 Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.

1:5 And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; 1:6 And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; 1:7 And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.
...

Because: Context is not important. Because: My life is one long series of contexts. (place)

2003-01-09T07:55:39Z

And the night before I turned seven I found a couple of holes in the lattice work and hooked my feet into them, rocked and rocked and rocked and watched the night sky.

I made a wish. I am not sure I remember it. But I think it came true.

II.

Sometimes, I would beat myself up for living too easily in my regrets or in my fantasies, and never, ever, ever in the here and now.

keg stand (idea)

2004-02-23T19:08:27Z

As soon as we opened the door to the frat house, the acrid smell of cigarette smoke assaulted my nostrils as the peeling paint and posters of anorexic models assaulted my eyes. "Honestly Susan, I don't know what you see in these boys."

Her head turned to me, "Relax Walter. You need to get your head out of books and party a bit. College isn't all writing papers and going to lectures you know."

I suppose she was right. However, I was not going to piss away my parents' money. As we took our first few steps into the party, a man stumbled up to us. I think his name was Karl, he was in my Intro to Human Anatomy class. "Hey, welcome to my house!" He slurred, "The keg's down in the basement, Iota Phi Delta rules!"

As he stumbled away I asked my companion, "You actually congregate with these people?"

She gave me a look that would wilt a thousand daisies as she grabbed my arm and dragged me downstairs.

The downstairs smelt even worse. Stale, old...

One no longer loves one's insight when one communicates it (idea)

2008-05-11T20:06:21Z

The problem arises when one attempts to communicate this...

Sauron Should've Used Babies! (idea)

2008-05-07T00:39:14Z

Gandalf looked to the horizon. He and the armies of Gondor, Rohan, and the Army of the Dimuald had just successfully defended Minas Tirith against goblins, Orcs, Trolls, and Mumakil.

Still the horns blew from the black land...

Gandalf strained his eyes to see what new torment the lord of the Black Land could send his way, and far on the horizon he saw the new threat, appearing as just tiny specks. At first it seemed to him that Sauron must have emptied the shire in its entirety and brought all the Hobbits to bear for the final battle; but then after a few moments Gandalf began to laugh joyfully as he realized it was no threat at all, but instead a passel of toddlers slowly making their way down the hill.

Gandalf thanked the Valar and made his way out to the field with the remaining armies of the west to recover the helpless children. Shouts, whoops, and celebration began as the toddlers were recovered. But the men wondered aloud why the children were clad in...