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semen collection

created by ansate

(thing) by ansate (2.8 y) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 2 C!s Sat Apr 15 2000 at 5:03:04

the collection of semen from animals. can be done for several purposes:

1) artificial insemination
2) semen evaluation (for breeding/health management)
3) i know what you're thinking, you sick fuck!

semen is generally collected by several processes:

the artificial vagina: this involves letting a male mount something. this something could be a female in estrus, or a teaser. it could even be an inanimate object like a dummy mount (wow, guess they really will hump anything). the animal's penis can then be diverted into the artificial vagina to collect the semen during ejaculation. this is the most commonly used procedure for semen collection.
an alternative is simply applying pressure and/or friction with a gloved hand as the animal mounts (essentially, yes, you are wanking off an animal. kinda cute, isn't it?).

note: generally a nearby female in heat or a similar stimulus (eg pheremone sprays) is required for the above procedures, in order to get the male in the mood.

electroejaculation: a probe is inserted into the rectum and electrical stimulation causes ejaculation. this technique is used in animals which cannot be trained to mount so easily-- for example, cats, primates, and some exotic species. electroejaculation produces samples with a greater volume of semen, but less sperm. this is because it stimulates ejaculation of all of the accessory sex organs simultaneously.

abdominal massage technique: a technique used specifically in poultry. it involves a gentle massaging of the abdomen, lower back, cloaca and tail feathers. birds tend to ooze out their semen rather than "ejaculate" forcefully, so as the semen pools out it is collected into a tube. an alternate name for this procedure is "milking." ew. someone had a sick sense of humor.


it's important not to collect semen too frequently. because sperm takes a while to travel up the epididymis, each ejaculation will contain a decreasing number of sperm.

you can now consider yourself informed. don't even think about using this for purpose number three. there are laws against that sort of thing.

(idea) by bitter_engineer (6.5 y) (print)   ?   (I like it!) Sat Apr 15 2000 at 5:28:45

Semen is collected from bulls using the artificial vagina technique. But the collector is not placed on a cow or a dummy mount. It is placed in the anus of another bull, specifically one that didn't get born with the desired traits.

I know this because I saw a video of it in my 8th Grade science class. I still have scars.


printable version
chaos

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