If there's any IS personnel in your office, they always have a weird, constipated look on their faces, don't they? That's because they're dying to say one or more of the following, but they can't.

1.   If you were dumb enough to delete it, NO, you CAN'T have it back.

2.   No, it ISN'T easy to 'just switch your computer'.

3.   If you have a screen-saver that depicts the entire big bang in intricate detail, don't complain to me about how your computer is slow.

4.   Listen, fucko, you scream about senority and make me take all the good systems away from the secretaries and give them to you...then you make the secretaries do your work anyway and crash their systems!

5.  NOW HEAR THIS! ASSHOLES GET NO RAM!!