Don't think about Mount Everest or how crazy it is up there. Don't think of the piles of oxygen canisters strewn about or how on a windy day you might catch a swatch of orange sleeve peek out of the snow. The top of the world isn't about a real mountain that men die to climb, it's about a different place everyone dies to get to.
I wish in Kinder that instead of saying that I wanted to be a Fireman when I grew up that I had said,
"I want to save the world." That would have been classic.
I'm not a fireman these days. In fact, I'm not much of any occupation as the real world sees it. People sometimes ask me what my job is and I don't know what to tell them. Sometimes I tell them that
"I make fish",
sometimes I say,
"I am an artist."
I never tell them that I am a writer. Even though I am.
Every day I try real hard to be average. My dad always told me that,
"Being average is good, because nobody ever expects anything out of you. When you do something extraordinary," he went on to say, "everybody notices and applauds acclaim and accomplishments. Pick your battles".
At some point in life, anyone has probably been traveling to a place they didn't want to go to or going away from a place they didn't want to leave. Often, more than, a soul just stays in the same place for a while. Waiting.
I'm a soul in the same place like most of you. Living, trying, crying. You know, existence. I get depressed and self medicate with cannabis, alcohol, literature and music. It isn't an easy road, but I'd rather deal with myself than some other person telling me what to do and how I should feel.
I feel just fine. Most of the time.
The top of the world isn't an easy place to get to. Goals and dreams often get smashed under the heavy sigh of rationalization, then later, failure. Nobody wants failure. I'm here to tell you that failure is the ultimate motivation. Failure is the best thing you can ever do. The fact is that failure is the only way you will succeed.
I've never failed to fail. It was the easiest thing to do.
With time, I suppose, I realized that. Never mind all the things I still haven't realized.
I have a deep hunger. A will if you will. I am alive and awake and moderately inebriated. I have faith and hope. I believe in self. I strive to achieve. I am strong and determined. In my soul I know. You will too.
Inside, where I build my walls, I know to put space for windows. I plan ahead so people can look in. I make shutters too just in case, but this is just an afterthought. With a stride of short step I walk toward my goal. Even if it impossible, progress begets inspiration. Every step taken gets us where we're going.
Instead, I sat a while and stared at the earth and the pebbles and twigs and dirt and such. Then, I looked up in the sky and saw a bunch of fluffy clouds under a backdrop of periwinkle blue sky. This is the world. This is me in the world. Not just me, but you too. Again and again. I'd take any friend to the places I find special. Any ol' time, just a `cuz.
Someone once asked me what my top ten happy highlights were in my life. To be honest I struggled to come up with ten. Then I remembered.
Happiness isn't often, but pride sure does give significant grits to the real stuff.
I've been abused, tormented, lost and alone and I never thought I'd get out of it. Arising from the demise and loss, while solemn and serene, remains an emotion of success. Anytime we can shed tears and move on is a good one. Stoic in repose and happening in effect.
I'm not a Prophet, just a person just like you. I like to eat and drink and forget about all the nonsense that ails me. I'm just a person. Just.
I believe in myself like everybody should and I think that if my grits got cold, I'd eat them anyway. Along the path, we might get lost. In the end be sure to be looking up at the top of your world, wherever it may be. Even if you have to look down. | 
