The Not-Nekkid Nottingham Noderfest and Crash Party

Live (non)Nude Noders! 9th-10th February 2002

Following the success of the London Missus/Monkey Riding Extravaganza, the management of Wertperch Associates would like to extend an Invitation to One and All to attend a meeting of mind, spirit, beer and monkeys.

---

The event will be held in the fair city of

Nottingham

(home of pretty women and fine hostelries), in the country known to its natives as England

---

Events will include: >

• Gurning - a demonstration of the art, by James Dean
• Dwile Flonking - instruction in the science by Emmanuelle
• A Yard of Ale Contest - open to all comers, and judged by the beautiful Katherine the Great
• General Laughter and Merriment for All!
• Okay, Not-Nekkid is optional, by public demand

---

The city may be reached in many ways, as Nottingham boasts a fine Railway Station, Omnibus Terminus and the Great Em One Turnpike.

Visitors will be welcome at my home at any time on the Saturday, this fine Edwardian dwelling being a few scant miles from the city centre.

The afternoon may include a tour of some local landmarks, including, but not limited to, the fine Nottingham Castle, and some fine olde inns - the fine Salutation Inn and the world-renowned Trip to Jerusalem.

Festivities will be commencing in the Golden Fleece public house, home to fine beers and spirits, this being on the famed Mansfield Road. Some may opt for a club afterward - Rock City has already been suggested, some may care to return chez wertperch for some noding or coffee.

(The pub is at http://www.multimap.com/ - search for postcode NG1 3FN)

Suggestions for Sunday morning are very welcome. Once again, there are a number of potential attractions, including the castle and Lord Byron's place. Sportier types may opt for the National Watersports Centre. Or noding. Again.


Accomodation may be arranged if required.

---

Interested parties should contact wertperch at their earliest convenience, to be added to the list below:

SMS to 07931 342765, mail to kevin@wertperch.co.uk or short emails direct to phone at wertperch@genie.co.uk
My address is in EMAR, use www.multimap.com to find me at NG5 1JS

---

Cast:

1. wertperch as John McEnroe
2. Jaz as Martina Navratilova
3. Wayland as Han Solo
4. ferenczy as Leon
5. stupot as Clark Kent
6. call as James Dean
7. SharQ as Blofeld
8. azzer As Henry V
9. CapnTrippy as Captain Beefheart
10. The Oolong Man as Indiana Jones
11. Siobhan as Mary Poppins
12. ascorbic as Emmanuelle
13. Catchpole as Little John
14. (darsi) as Buffy the Vampire Slayer
15. You... as Barbarella

Tentative castings: (Let me know if things change)

• TallRoo as Mad Max
• catwertle as Gandalf

Invited: (apologies if you think you should already be on this list...)

• WyldWynd as Falstaff *
• gnarl *
• heyoka *
• BlueDragon as Titania *
• Gritchka *
• Pandora
• sm597 *
• spiregrain *
• idoru
• Decimetre
• ConfusionTheWaitress *
• drownzsurf *
• inky *
• teiresias *
• tiefling *
• pjd *
• 409 *
• mortice *
• Great Neb *
• insanefuzzie *
• k9
• TheLady
• WolfDaddy
• Jean-Yves
• Albert Herring
• jobby
• Frankie *
• nine-9
• jodrell
• Just Tom *
• PortalCell *
• bol *
• ReiToei *
• bexxta as Angelina Jolie *

* = unable to attend :(

---

Everything is a Community

Accomodations may be found for some impecunious or nervous noders, details on request.

The whereabouts of the wertperch lair may be found at EMAR, and other contact details at his homenode

At the request of the management, guests will be encouraged to complete a feedback form,
detailing their experiences for addition here after the events.

Noders should refrain from adding graffiti themselves. Details will be circulated after the event.

If you were 20 years younger, I wouldn't go anywhere near you.
- Lila to Kevin

Okay. We are a big pile of noders sitting in Wertperch's livingroom. Gathered around a big pile of half-emptied pizza boxes and sipping Oolong Tea.

We have run around spreading innuendo and could-have-been disastrous comments to the Nottingham local population. For example, when a nasty and annoying band decided to invade our nice and peaceful bar, call, Jaz and (darsi) ganged up to get the doors closed - effectively creating a fire hazard before being confronted by a wild waitress-woman who looked like she had just started a fire herself.

Never you mind, however.

We have gathered some general ideas that might light your fire, and realise you have missed something. Yes this is a hint - be here the next time :) We even had somebody fly over from Switzerland - you hardly see this kind of dedication these days

Oolong: Lollipops, chocolate and a thoroughly touched puppy. Life is good.

call: This keyboard is neither Dvorak nor... even vaguely sensible. What were you thinking, SharQie? ,) But I don´t care, it´s on an iBook... friends, sweeties, and loud music; what more does a guy need?

Wayland: Luckily I can't think of anything to write involving a tilda, as a can't see one. Have a good one!

Ferenczy - It´s at times like this I wish I was in the sort of company where I could pass a particularly clever Oscar Wilde quote off as my own without everyone looking slightly embarrassed.

Wertperch asks Jaz to stop tickling me whilst I am trying to type. Surrounded by distractions, I am unable to perform at my optimum. The generosity and love shown by these wonderful people rocks my world (to quote ascorbic)

Catwertle hugs!

Siobhan: /me seconds Catwertle!

ascorbic: SharQ is welcome to copy my XP whoreage with the "bring ya laptop to the nodermeet" malarkey. This norwiegen keyboard is fucking confusing. I've done well, with both hot euro babes and lesbians tonight. Hugglez and stuff.¨

Catchpole: laptops and beer do not mix. Did you here about the monkey that fell out the tree?

Stupot: Not only did I touch the puppy, I _wore_ the puppy. I have nothing more to say. Oh, except thanks to all, and thanks to E2.

I wandered around, lost, my little chicken legs going sixteen to the dozen, looking for the little lost party of noders...I found them in their natural habitat, the pub, living the E2 way of life, I joined them and touched the puppy, and it was good...and it continued to be so, this is where the legend becomes reality...

Jaz sez the puppy was touched, and friendship commenced. What a wonderful bunch of people - what can I say, Im humbeld and small in my 6'2" tallness.... love you all x

(darsi) says Don't touch your brain!

SharQ: Yes. This has been worth it, most definitely. I have spent the day snogging random noders and being generally annoying - Among other things; Jugglign my (and two other noders' mobiles. Poor people. But no, there is no remorse. Not even for almost throwing a glass on the ground and almost smashing werty's ball. No remorse :)

Absent Noders

We drank the health of those unable to attend, wherever they were; bexxta, bol, heyoka and gnarl, ConfusionTheWaitress, TallRoo, BlueDragon and TallRoo. We missed you, but you were with us in spirit!

Great to have seen you all, people! Keep it up!

Some great picture galleries at: www.wertperch.co.uk

SharQ's picture gallery at: www.kamps.org/photography/galleries

-30-