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The Last American Virgin

created by Quizro

(thing) by Quizro (2.7 mon) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 2 C!s Wed Jun 06 2001 at 19:30:54

WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD!

Teen sex comedy from 1982, the cast of which is mostly notable for the appearance of Diane Franklin, who went on to star in Better Off Dead and Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. I node it because it will forever stick in my memory as the one 80s teen sex comedy that actually had an unhappy ending.

The plot revolves around three high school buddies, one of whom --Gary -- is the virgin of the title. Throughout their ill-fated escapades in their quest for sex, Gary continues to pine for Karen, the seemingly unattainable girl of his dreams. This is all very Fast Times At Ridgemont High, even more so when his best pal Rick sleeps with and then abandons Karen. Gary steps in to defend her and goes WAY the hell out of his way to take care of her in her time of need. Finally, finally it looks like he will win his true love and cease to be The Last American Virgin.

And then, just at the end, he catches Karen and the loathsome Rick locked in a romantic clench at a party. Gary bolts from the house, jumps in his car, and drives off into the night weeping.

As the end credits came up, I believe the exact words my friends and I spoke were, "What the FUCK?". The very least one would expect from a picture entitled The Last American Virgin is that by film's end, the main character will have either lost his virginity (a la Porky's) or found a love so rare and true that suddenly his quest for mere sex becomes meaningless (Fast Times). One does not expect an ending that makes one want to jump off a bridge.

So I respect the makers of this film for the very boldness of their crime against the genre and their willingness to throw a bucket full of Truth in the faces of their stunned adolescent audience.

Plus I remember there being this incredibly sexy woman named Carmela in the movie. Ah, Carmela, she who haunted my teenaged dreams for years. The actress playing her was also in Death Race 2000.


printable version
chaos

Death Race 2000 Fast Times at Ridgemont High Where the water for the flood could have come from Porky's
virginity American Virgins Losing my strip club virginity Kimmy Robertson
United States Sex Laws Mena Suvari I color the walls singing broken songs for a broken earth cousin marriage
Rapture Joycelyn Elders Tongue David Manning
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure Buying crack from your mom's pimp How many keys on a piano? Why, again, did I suffer through four years of high school?
Who wants to be a high school graduate? A virgin in the parlor, a whore in the bedroom Fnord Lemon Popsicle
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